I have always disliked myself, but I'm only getting really depressed about it now.

I'm really worried about my depression, because I think I have become depressed because I dislike most things about myself.

I can't really remember a time when I truly liked myself. I have always been a peripheral character in groups, I am thoughtless with my family and friends, and really I think I am the most boring person I've ever encountered.

Of course, I don't want to be this way, but I don't understand how to be not boring! I try going out and doing things, reading things, I am in college... but when it comes to having a conversation with someone... paint drying comes to mind.

I am 23 now... this is part of the problem.. I sort of always assumed I would just gain an ability to have decent conversations with people as I aged... but it doesn't seem to be happening.

My mental capacity is extremely low and I feel incapable of changing anything.

Sucks.