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r/VaushV•
Burillo

Genital preferences

NSFWDiscussion

This subject has come up a few times here and there, and I have opined on it too, getting somewhat conflicting reactions (an initial wave of downvotes, followed by a long tail of upvotes). I found that interesting, so I wanted to see more of y'all opinions on it - why do people agree, why do they disagree, maybe provide some personal examples of one or the other. One thing I would ask is, please no judgemental takes. If you think something I say is transphobic - great, let's talk, tell me what you think. Also, I'm high as balls, so this is going to be a lengthy bit of introspection - if you're not interested in that, that's fine by me, go read some other post.

So, I am one of those people who has what is commonly referred to as "genital preferences" - that is, I don't find cocks to be sexually attractive. I mean, I don't find them "disgusting" or anything, I'm more than comfortable with looking at cocks, but I just don't feel anything sexual towards them. I do find trans women attractive, and I would have no problem squeezing their boobs or whatever, but I just can't get over the cock thing.

So I thought, well, if it is a genital preference, then I should be fine with a boy pussy, right? I used to say that yeah, I probably would, but then at some point I realized I never tested that on myself - I just don't see a lot of trans men (our culture seems to be obsessed with trans women), and porn sites are overwhelmingly showing me straight porn with trans chicks, but guys with pussies just never come up, so I never actually seen one.

And so I went out and looked at porn with trans men in it. It was basically non-existent in the straight porn sphere, and it didn't seem to be a very popular category with gay porn sites either, because it was comparatively harder to find (a lot of search mismatches). And after seeing it, I found that I wasn't attracted to that either: the pussy was perfectly ordinary pussy, but the rest of the person was basically a dude, like, the dudest dude ever - so, to me it was basically just gay porn, just one guy happened to have a pussy. So, it turns out, I was wrong about myself, and actually I wouldn't fuck a trans guy either, because it's a guy! That means that basically my requirement for fucking is that it has to be a girl, and she has to have a pussy.

So, if this "genital preference" thing is real (and not just me being transphobic or whatever), we should expect to see other variations. We're all aware that there are men who aren't into dudes but will happily fuck trans women (and women who aren't into other women but will fuck a trans guy), so we already know those exist, we can ignore those people because they're not like me - their "genital preference" is "bi", so to speak. Thus, I have a few questions for my fellow Vaushites:

  • straight guys, are you into women with cocks? (are you "bi" in terms of genitals, but not gender)

  • straight guys, would you fuck a guy with a pussy? (does gender matter if genitals match your preferences)

  • gay guys, would you fuck a guy with a pussy? Is it a common thing in gay (not bi) context? (can gay guys be only into men with cocks)

  • gay guys, would you fuck a trans girl? (does gender matter if genitals match your preferences)

  • do you think it is possible to only be into trans people? Like, imagine a guy who is into women (or vice versa), but kinda meh about the whole pussy thing, and then he finds out about trans women and that's all he ever cares about since, because it turns out he's that much more into cocks than pussies, while still preferring girls to men - do you think "genital preferences" can work this way?

Light it up if you got it, let's make it a chill thread

Posted Jun 10, 2023, 7:40 PM UTC ¡ edited

1886
jay_em_dee•

Not being attracted to Trans men when you're not attracted to cis men is perfectly normal. Genital preferences rarely ever explain someone's entire sexuality. Liking trans men would be kinda gay.

41
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

Genital preferences rarely ever explain someone's entire sexuality.

Yeah, that's kind of what I arrived at: it seems that genitals for me are important, but on their own aren't enough.

9
DGzCarbon•

While they aren't enough on their own they can be dealbreakers on their own.

A perfectly attractive woman is great but if they have a penis I can't do it.

5
jay_em_dee•

Duh

3
Bongsley_Nuggets•

I prefer genitals yes

34
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

I laughed at that harder than I probably should have

10
Powerful-Cut-708•

Yeah. Genitals > than oatmeal for breakfast

10
LGchan•

People make this way more complicated than it has to be. Pressuring people to fuck and have relationships with people who they don't want to fuck and have relationships with is wrong. The reasoning behind why that person doesn't want to fuck and have relationships with people is irrelevant.

You don't wanna fuck/date someone who has junk you don't like? Fine. Just keep your mouth shut when other people do it because your personal preferences aren't relevant to other people.

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BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

No one said otherwise. I agree with you. I was more interested in the actual empirical reality of how sexuality works.

15
SufficientDot4099•

This is not what the post is about. Did you read the post?

5
Felicityfulserial award giver•

You independently came to Andrew Tate's conclusion on trans men. That it's less gay to fuck a trans woman than it is to fuck a trans man.

Which, to be clear, is definitely true and based.

21
mik999ak•

Limited-Edition Tate W

8
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

Well, broken clock and all that 😋

1
beforeisaygoodnight•

People overthink this way too much. Here's the simple version. It's ok to be straight or gay with a genital preference when it comes to sex. You have that right and autonomy regardless of any baggage that might come with your preference.

IF you approach your own preference in a way that implies that trans people are actually covertly part of the gender that would normally have the genitals you don't desire, that's transphobia.

As long as your general approach is "hey, I am straight and I like x genitals, but there are straight people who like x and y genitals, too" you're valid, we as trans people are valid, and there's no reason to fight. Just avoid the weird aspects of this and don't use your preference to set normative expectations for trans people, their partners, or other straight or gay who don't share your preference.

Have a solid day.

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BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

overthink

What do you mean "overthink"?! I'm high!

IF you approach your own preference in a way that implies that trans people are actually covertly part of the gender that would normally have the genitals you don't desire, that's transphobia.

Well that's the thing: I really don't know how to answer that. Like, I'm trying to figure what it is that makes me not like trans girls the minute I see their cock. I don't think I "think of them as men" or something, I don't really know what I think, it's more like a gut reaction. I have no idea where it's coming from. It might be because I sort of expect pussy to be there because I'm into girls? I honestly don't know.

1
beforeisaygoodnight•

I guess that's kind of why I said that you have the right to your preference regardless of whatever baggage it may come from or with. Our sexualities are a tangled mess of our experiences and expectations that we honestly need the help of a trained therapist to work through, and I'm not even really sure that we need to figure it all out unless we are hurting ourselves or others with how we express ourselves. It's always fine to have a gut reaction. The sort of introspection you're doing is good even if I think the "bi genital preference" bit does sort of make a statement about the people those genitals are attached to.

2
EvethefiefHarbinger of Dark Brandon•

But cocks are so good

8
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

They are!

1
Juliussyndaclist•

wrong opinion, sorry!

-3†
3layernachos•

If you don't like your cock, just transition! 😊

1
Juliussyndaclist•

I forgot the /s, tragic

3
3layernachos•

Truly, RIP

1
SeraphicShou•

Am a cis gay guy and I'd potentially try a trans guy with a pussy I suppose. I'm not like disgusted by vaginas just not the ideal for me imo. And despite lesbians being stereotyped as more transphobic gay guys can be pretty bigoted about it on grindr. I would in general say most cis gays don't like vaginas. And gay men can only be into men with cocks in the sense that they'd only have sex with them sure. But if a gay guy says shit like he'd never find a trans dude attractive, he's a liar.

And it depends on what you mean by trans girl. If she's done zero transitioning and looks like someone I'd find hot then of course I would lol. But if you mean someone who presents female and has a dick then no, of course not. And yes this does mean a lot of people who like femboys are straight dudes lol.

It's definitely possible for someone to prefer trans genitals over cis genitals. Just uncommon because of yknow social conditioning and stuff.

5
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

This is very informative, thank you!

2
Joburt19891•

Humans are attracted to traits, not genders. So genital preference makes total sense.

5
KronusEdits•

But if I posted this I would get down voted into oblivion

1
Joburt19891•

You can't let a lack of popularity keep you from being objectively correct.

1
KronusEdits•

Lack of popularity will cause me to gaslight myself to hell

1
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

Well, I basically posted this, and I didn't get downvoted, so not necessarily!

1
Low-Gas-677•

I'm a straight cis man. I am romantically attracted to feminine to androgynous women. I would be willing to have sex with a trans man who still has a vagina and can be seen as androgynous. I'm not attracted to masculine women, masculine trans men, or trans women. I can't bring myself to be attracted to trans women with a vagina. It may be possible for me to have that attraction if I did not know the woman was trans, but I believe that attraction would disappear and be replaced with resentment if I found out the history later. I'm willing to admit that my biases are more mental blocks and cognitive dissonance than anything. I also believe that it is true that treating people as their presenting gender is a good thing to do. I also believe that I will fist fight you in a waffle house parking lot if you insist I should be attracted to penis or surgical vagina, because nobody is owed my attraction.

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BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

I also believe that I will fist fight you in a waffle house parking lot

True warrior!

Thanks for your perspective, interesting! I honestly don't know how I would feel about neo vaginas - I think that's what they call it? - that part I hadn't explored yet. It's a good next step!

1
MostBadPraxis•

Shit like this makes me happy that I'm bi.

3
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

I was always jealous of bi people, so I'm on the other side of that fence lol

3
DudeBroFistBAYTA•

A hot girl is a hot girl. That's really about as far as my brain goes on the topic 🤷

2
JKSMusic•

I'm really happy to see people taking this thread seriously. Answering people's good faith questions when it comes to queer sex is the road to public acceptance. (And honestly a space that kind of got decimated after Tumblr died.)

2
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

It may be because I just asked do nicely 😁

1
3layernachos•

I used to think I was bi, leaning heavily towards attraction to women. I now realize I am a lesbian, with just about zero genital preference. The only time I'm attracted to men at all is when they are very feminine. If I see a beautiful woman with a penis, I'm no more or less attracted to her, just makes me wonder about that mouthfeel 🤤

2
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

This is very interesting - so it can with with gay people the same way it works with straight people! Thanks for sharing!

1
Covfefe_Coomer•

I just wanna know if I get some sloppy toppy from some hot af trans chick if that gets me into the LGBT community? If so I'd milk that shit so hard. Every convo I had I'd be like "as a member of the lgbt community..."

2
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

Weaponization of identity politics is praxis!

2
narvuntien•

I am attracted to women that include trans women obviously but I wouldn't be comfortable with girl cock. I have a genital preference. Since I have the right to consent in sexual matters then I can refuse to participate in any sexual act I wasn't comfortable with.

It's just really hard to date trans women because I am not going to start talking about genitals on a first date. I see a transwoman on Tindr and I am attracted to her like any other woman. So it's not that I am not attracted to or feel uncomfortable dating them but how the hell do I start the conversation about genitals?

2
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

I think that's a good question we have to figure out - like, assuming we agree that some people are genuinely not into trans chicks, how does one broach the topic without transphobic undertones and without being weird about it? I guess it would be like if you dated a girl, and then some time later, you think you're gonna have sex, but she's like, yeah, dude, sorry, I'm ace. And, like, there's nothing wrong with being ace (or trans!), so I don't want the burden placed on anyone to self report this stuff on first date, but there's something to be said about sex being an important part of our lives, and this stuff matters.

I guess it would be like anything else you might not like about your partner? As in, I probably wouldn't date a religious conservative, I'm too much of a reddit atheist to make it work, but I also don't think the person should lead with "hey I'm a evangelical" if they're not comfortable with discussing that with random strangers. So perhaps it's not a problem that can be solved, so we just have to live with it? Well, except maybe normalizing sluttiness and sex at first sight? 😁

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1
Communications23•

So for science:

I used to think I'm fully hetero. I'm actually bisexual, but mostly into women, especially romantically. As in I would fuck a guy, but probably not date him.

There's a wide range of people I find attractive, but not: Trans women who don't pass very well, butch cis women, or trans men with pussy. I guess you could frame it as transphobia, but I see it as just liking when gender aligns well with presentation (I know this is disappointing to trans people who have anxiety about being clocked easily, this is not against you, I'm just being honest about what I like), and in the case of masculine guys with pussy (not attractive to me) as opposed to feminine trans women with cock (attractive) it's that combined with me being more on the hetero side of the sliding scale. Probably. Who knows what exactly feeds into that.

That alone, I'm sure, is enough to get me wokescolded. I don't care, I'm just honest about what I like.

It's also not just gender and sex. I'm also way more likely, statistically, on average, to like white and asian women attractive than black women. I don't think that makes me a racist, but I'm again sure it can generate lots of progressive ire.

1
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

Thanks for being honest! This is actually interesting, because you're bi yet you differentiate between different trans genders - you'd find a trans woman attractive, but not a trans man. This undermines Vaush's "being bi is being pan" maxim - perhaps there is a difference after all.

-1
Communications23•

I don't know how I would feel about feminine trans guy though. I'm affraid that would be wrong in the sense that my brain would subconsciously see them as the wrong gender, so I might be attracted but for reasons that are unfair to them. I honestly think the difference boils down to me being bi but leaning one way instead of being in the middle. On top of that I'm not 100% sure about that part, because I haven't explored it on purpose like you did.

In the end my hot take would be Stirnerite egoist influenced gender abolitionism - all the categories are spooks and either you feel something or not on an individual basis.

1
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

I agree with the latter - I don't think we should categorize people as being gay or straight, but we have to communicate somehow, and in our society, that's the language we can use. I imagine there will always be a utility in recognizing all the different attractions and categorizing them, if only for gaining an understanding of human nature in all its complexity.

1
Communications23•

Broadly speaking it can be used as shorthand for communication, but I don't like how people get boxed in and pinned down into categories. I wrote a few paragraphs and it still is an incomplete description of my sexuality, so it is clear to me how saying just bi / pan or cis / trans is woefully inadequate. I definitely feel more gay on some days and sometimes gender nonconforming despite being overwhelmingly cis. So you can either use inadequate labels or keep inventing new ones until you have one for every single possible configuration and granular steps inbetween and in my view both of those scenarios are less helpful than saying fuck it and just rolling with the idea that each person is unique and might or might not be uniquely attracted to every other person.

2
CalBrowser•

Why is this even complicated?

First of all, genital preference and sexual preference go pretty much hand in hand.

Second: if you’re guilted into having sex with someone with genitals you’re not a fan of, that’s coercion and hence sexual assault. The number of lesbians I know that get repulsed by the idea of a penis you wouldn’t force them to have sex with a woman who has a penis.

Thirdly, the notion of “oh you’re transphobic if you turn down sex with a trans person because of their genitals” is itself a transphobic sentiment. Trans people, like any other people, are generally nice people and would completely understand. They would rather their sexual partner be comfortable with having sex, rather than them feeling guilted and coerced into doing it. LIKE ANY OTHER DECENT HUMAN BEING. I feel like a lot of this genital discourse kinda plays into the trans stereotype of “trans people are tricking people into having sex they didn’t want”, which is an absolutely incorrect sentiment.

1
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

I asked not to be judgemental, this goes both ways. You didn't say anything I disagree with, but, like, holy shit dude, chill.

1
CalBrowser•

Um I wasn’t judging you wtf hahaha I think you’re chill and good for asking the question.

The people who have already decided on the incorrect trans genital discourse side are the ones who require judging.

It’s all chill my guy

1
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

The people who have already decided on the incorrect trans genital discourse side are the ones who require judging.

Yes, that's the thing: you're now being judgemental against them for no reason, because no one voiced such an opinion here. You're bringing your own baggage to the thread.

1
CalBrowser•

Oh my bad sorry. I misread a paragraph of your post. That’s my bad b

But don’t be rude to me for no reason man.

1
SufficientDot4099•

Did you even read the post?

Not a single thing you said is relevant to the post.

1
lightninglyzard•

So for a long time, I (amab 36) thought vaginas were kinda weird. Where I could always see the appeal of cock(but not men), pussy just seemed strange and vaguely off-putting. In spite of this, Ive always been attracted to women and I identified a straight man for most of my life. When I started to realize that I had been trans my entire life, I actually started to be really attracted to pussy, not just women. Around this time I also had a wild acid trip, that sort of "unlocked" my sexual attraction for men

So now I identify as a bisexual transwoman and, I recognize that I had both my attraction to men and to pussy locked behind my own hangups. I'm not trying to say that this is whats going on with you, but I thought my experiences might offer an interesting perspective.

1
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

That's very interesting, thanks for sharing! My experience doesn't sound anything like yours, but I'm glad you worked through your hangups!

I should try acid, maybe that'll get me to unlock the gay gene 😁

2
lightninglyzard•

Acid changed my life. Honestly, I think it saved me. I will never not advocate for the responsible use of psychedelics.

Do you mind if I ask: Why do you think you're exploring/questioning your sexuality in this way? What do you think has spurred on this curiosity?

1
BurilloOP Matt Vaulsh•

I'm just naturally curious and introspective, I do this all the time. It's usually not about my sexuality, but occasionally, it is.

3
lightninglyzard•

Right on, I'm all for some good navel gazing. Hell that's why I took acid in the first place 😆

2