[729] Touching the Unknown - Chapter 01

MaxLoboAuthor · 2023-06-16T20:02:04.000Z

My story:[[729] Touching the Unknown - Chapter 01](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dcxbq2ld5-qgW_n_S86LyxMBEqE9-sso5dPtgeSfRh8/edit?usp=sharing) My critique: [[1401] Underworld Mechanization](https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/143efan/comment/jo4h95r/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) My questions: 1. Is noticeable the repetition of the terms young man, old man, young man, old man? 2. The inverted sentences add diversity to the text or kill the flow? 3. Does the lack of dialogue tags works? 4. Does the text brings sci-fi vibes?

sci-fi

My story:[729] Touching the Unknown - Chapter 01

My critique: [1401] Underworld Mechanization

My questions:

Is noticeable the repetition of the terms young man, old man, young man, old man?
The inverted sentences add diversity to the text or kill the flow?
Does the lack of dialogue tags works?
Does the text brings sci-fi vibes?

Posted Jun 16, 2023, 8:02 PM UTC · edited

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