[3531] Coal at the Crossroads, Part 1/2

This is a longer short story that is complete, and I will be posting both halves at the same time (Edit: I didn't realize there was a "wait 48 hours" rule so I will be posting the other half in a couple days). Please assume almost any grammatical errors you see are intentional and a reflection of the narrator's speech, as the narrator has a thick accent and the text reflects her vernacular. The only areas that should depart from that narrative voice are when other people are speaking. That said, if there are points where I am inconsistent with the narrative voice, or if you find it too annoying, or if it feels disingenuous/artificial, please let me know. (I grew up in the South, my dad is from Alabama, and I asked him to take a look at it to double-check the authenticity, so I feel relatively comfortable with it. Would still welcome any feedback, especially from anyone familiar with southern accents/southern phrasing.)

As I've banked enough crits to post both halves at the same time, if anyone is willing to read both halves (and especially if you like the first half enough to *want* to keep reading), that would be especially helpful for me, as I am hoping to submit this to a short story magazine and am looking primarily for high-level feedback (e.g. thoughts on narrative voice, pacing, characterization, whether the story feels complete and compelling, whether it is close to being ready to submit or needs a significant level of editing) rather than line-by-line edits.

Link to story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/11KWSnhlFtGBVKEXU9sMOQyF5YBnZ9EOYf2c9YBsVAzo/edit?usp=sharing

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Crits:

[2-part crit on Queen of Crumbs = 1591](https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/149ukal/comment/jo8luux/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

[2-part crit on Sweet and Salty = 2011](https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/13rxi8q/comment/jomg16k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

[3-part crit on What Moves You = 1482](https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/14b72eb/comment/jojk7bk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

Total = 5084