Should I (M/47) remain submissive to wife (F/50) that ignores common sense, spews negativity?

Warning: Long Post; only my viewpoint

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male 47. wife 50 - married for 11 years.

initially, we teased each other in simple terms, but turned out to be insulting. so we stopped doing that.

she repeatedly slapped me while asking me to do household chores. she stopped only when I showed her how much it hurt.

casual remarks and teasings became insulting, shouting matches.

the first one or two times, i tell calmly they i don't like something (food, timing of doing chores, boredom, etc). third or fourth time, i ended up shouting. that's my weakness.

she exploited it nicely.

she will say something stupid or untenable. i say no - after three or four times, it becomes a shouting exercise for me.

and then she will tell 'LOOK AT YOU, HOW YOU ARE SHOUTING. NOBODY CAN LIVE WITH YOU.'

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went for counseling in 2018-20 - she dismissed it as waste 'cos counselor was interested in placating the person in front of them.

sat together with common friends. she went back on many promises (including one made on her dead father about simple things as chores).

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recent examples -- given here to show how silly our arguments are.

MAY 2022

moved into the new house the very second night, she made me upset

i slept on the couch

i moved my stuff into the second bedroom closet -- she said i can't do that

and that i have to sleep in the master bedroom

(June 2023 - she is threatening to leave me. and involve my parents.

when i left the room, she could have just let me go)

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JULY 2022

shoes lost in a place of worship

kept insisting that i should buy only a particular brand shoes which was located faraway.

I bought an ordinary pair at a nearby place. she kept nagging that i did not follow her advice

this was on my friggin birthday. ended up fighting in the middle of a busy road intersection.

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AUGUST 2022

kayaking with friend

i wanted the battery pack for charging

she kept insisting that i can't take it with me -- after the third time, I had to shout and leave

later she claimed it was a joke.

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MAY 2023

called me doing half ass job after gardening (for many days)

that i won't clean the dirty clothes well enough

in spite of many days of hard work, in stead of appreciation, she throws nothing but insults at me.

I generally don't provoke her - most of the times my arguments are about defending myself against her negativity.

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21 JUNE 2023

lifting items to a loft

didn't want to lean outside too much fearing falling down of the ladder

i had to call her out loudly as she had left the room in the middle

she kept talking about it the entire next day

and made a Himalayan mountain out of a mole hill

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22nd JUNE 2023

getting ready for train travels

first forced me to hurry up for lack of time

after shower, she says sit and talk -- we have time

then keeps complaining about my tone from previous day that i was harsh while defending my position (that i can't lean away from the ladder)

she kept blackmailing me that she will involve my old parents.

i resisted -- later i told my parents myself.

I have used what she considered as her last trump card

let's see how the next few days go...

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I am unable to put up with negativity and the statements that are just plain nonsense.

she is expecting to explain the obvious, multiple times.

I am very close to calling it quits. nobody from her side is able to show that she needs to change her ways.

she has a PhD and earning much more than her siblings -- all these play a role for her haughtiness.

I am planning to show your comments to her, if it comes to that. what would you tell us?