Ladies of Reddit, I am in a committed relationship of over 1 year, what would possess my gf to look up her ex on FB after she deleted him, pictures of them together, and otherwise severed contact, all for the sake of our relationship, a couple of weeks before our anniversary.
I can't wrap my head around it, she deleted him on facebook, purged pictures, but just about two weeks before it was 1 year officially, I inadvertently was on her computer and some letters I typed in to the search bar pulled up recent places visited and voila her ex's FB page. It makes me think that there are things that he did that I am I not doing, or needs or want's that I am not satisfying and it's driving me crazy. Truthfully I found out by accident, but the act alone made me very self conscious and actually kind of angry. It seemed very selfish to me. Thank you in advance. :)
Posted Dec 18, 2012, 11:35 AM UTC
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I guess the more serious question, she knows if I found that out it would hurt me or make me feel self conscious especially so close to our 1 year mark, why would she do it? It makes me think she feels regret, or yearning or some other things I don't even understand. I
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I agree. I've looked up plenty of ex's/could have been's etc online. It's not out of any kind of deep yearning or dissatisfaction with what I've got now.
This is not your job nor is it something you should ever do! You've found one little thing and are assigning emotions to her that you have no idea about and letting yourself get hung up on them. You don't get to decide/imply/freak out over if she's feeling any of those things. You can ask her if you'd like about it. Something like, "hey, can I check something out? I stumbled across this one your computer, and I was just wondering how you're feeling about us these days?" She'll probably say she's satisfied or happy or whatever. This is probably the truth. If you want to take it a step further you can ask her if there's ways you can step up her game with her. Does she want to be held more or fucked more or whatever.
Dude, it's curiosity. Especially after she blocked all access to his page and deleted him, that kind of absolute cease contact is great initially, but you were with that person, and like it or not, you are interested in what happened to them.
It could be that she is happy and wants to see that he's happy. It could be that she's happy and wants to see if he's miserable. It could be that he's threatening and she wants to make sure that he isn't in her life anymore. It could be that a friend of hers mentioned him in a conversation, and she became curious. It could be that she's mad at you and she is looking for a walk down memory lane.
The point is that you don't know. If she hasn't given you any other indicators that there are problems in this relationship, let it go. Without other evidence, you're making a mountain of a molehill.
Yeah, just third-ing the whole curiosity thing. I actually recently looked up an ex from HS because his name came up and I was curious about where/how he wound up.
women do the same exact shit, please...
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/schadenfreude
She likely hopes he's dating a whale with explosive acne and 36 kids.
I've been guilty of this.
I think a great many women have. Many men too, I expect.
Letting go of the past and bottling it up and acting as if it never happened are two different things.
Maybe she was just curious if he too found someone that makes him happy.