I made the biggest mistake of my life and for the past year and a half I don’t know what to do with myself.

So for the past year and a half (Dec 2021-July 2023) I’ve been going through the worst period of my life mentally and I’m almost ready to give up. I truly should’ve never have fallen in love when we weren’t even together in the first place. I asked her out to be my Prom Partner in 2021 and I told her that I was interested in dating her when we were getting to know each other and so for the next few months we had our flings and dates to see if it was a good idea. Over the course of the next few months I fell deeper in love with her, but we still weren’t dating because I still thought it was too soon.

After Graduation happened everything about her just changed, the way she talked to me and the fact that she just ignored me for weeks and I don’t know what I did wrong, so when I eventually saw her again at a party we were both at she told me that she wanted it over and that she was done with me, at that point I felt so unease and over the next few months I just wasn’t able to sleep or think properly because all I was thinking was that I was lead on or that it was her plan to just do that to me from the start because the only reason we started seeing each other was because I had the guts to ask her to Prom (I’m very shy lol). I’ve asked her about the reasons why she wanted to break up and if i’m being honest here, they’re all bullshit reasons stuff like ‘i have a lot going on’ and it just frustrated me even more because they weren’t even relationship ending issues.

After a year and a half later I still think about it and I still miss her, I’ve fucked up my life/career because of how much I loved her and I regret everything and I wish I could take it all back. If it was always going to end after Graduation why even bother getting to know me, why bother wanting to come over to my house and wanting to meet my parents, was it all for nothing? Why lead me on to believe that something was actually gonna happen between us? I mean we were just getting started. There’s more stuff that happened but it would make this post too long.

Thank you for reading :)