Am I wrong for not wanting my brother at my wedding?
I’m (27F) getting married next year to my fiancé (26M) and we’re discussing the guest list. Our wedding is going to be pretty small. I have 12 siblings and grew up with 2 of them. the brother in question I never talked to until he found me on social media when i was about 14 or 15. At the time, he was an addict and nobody really ever seen or heard from him, like ever. So it wasn’t surprising to me that we weren’t close. I have no idea of his exact age but i wanna say late 30s. About 7ish years ago he turned his life around and got “Sober” (stopped shooting up but still drinks/smokes weed/ self medicates using mushrooms) for his Gf, who also quit her addictions, and their children. We’ve only seen each other a handful of times since reconnecting, but they haven’t all been pleasant. Besides the fact that he’s constantly talking down on me and dismissing my voice, he and his wife are also extremely transphobic and homophobic (i’m non-binary and pansexual), and they’re also racist af (made that clear at our sisters wedding when she married a man of a different race). Our Dad recently went through a health crisis and moved in with them. He paid the rent in full, most utilities, and brought all of his belongings for the family to use (TV, appliances, a $1000 computer i got him, etc). They helped take care of him and nurse him back to health… For a couple months. It didn’t take long for the using to begin. Using his car, emotionally manipulating him for more and more money, and essentially bleeding him dry. It’s worth noting that he also gave our dad a kidney so like, dad has a hard time saying no to them. But while dad was living there he said it’s the most toxic hellhole he’s ever been in. Apparently they’re both drinking by the 5th every night, fighting horrendously, and screaming and emotionally abusing the kids. In fact, brothers wife’s oldest daughter refuses to come back from her dads house because of how bad it is there.
Dad moved out, and is good now.
So that brings us to recent events. Dad went to go retrieve some of his personal belongings from Brother, only to find that they had sold/pawned most of his belongings and threw the rest away. He also called me “Fucking scum” over a meme shared on facebook.
After hearing about what they did to our dad, My fiancé says he doesn’t want them there. Quite frankly I don’t either but I do want my nephews there.
All this has made me choose not to invite him. Am I wrong?
Posted Jul 17, 2023, 8:20 PM UTC
Remove the family connection and say it was just a family friend. How would you proceed?
There’s your answer.