[M4A] Femboy letting guys in college take advantage of me

I've always been into more dominant guys, the ones who take control, are rough, and aggressive. It was a fantasy of mine to let a guy just have total control over me. Well my first year of college I started experimenting more, wearing skirts, dresses, panties, thigh highs, chokers, etc. One weekend my roommate was out of town so I invited a guy over who I had been talking to for a while, I wore a cute little outfit for him and we got high. We started making out, I gave him head, and hit the pen a few more times. I don't really remember much after that. I have vague memories of him sliding the panties I was wearing off, and sliding himself into me. The next morning I tried to remember everything that happened but it was just a few memories here and there. For some reason though it turned me on so much. I learned about CNC and it instantly became one of my favorite fetishes.

After that when I'd invite a guy over we would smoke/drink and I would pretend to be way drunker/higher than I really was. It turns out most college guys don't really care, especially when they're drunk/high aswell. I'd make sure to get them horny and even tease them a little before acting less and less sober. If you want to talk about this more send me a reddit chat, looking to have a conversation and I don't check my messages as much.