I am tired and I can't guarantee if I'm going to wake up

I am scared of what I am going to do to myself, A 15yo M I have been struggling with depression for awhile and I discovered that I hate myself and all I see when I look at the mirror all I see is a mess of a human being who uses porn as a way to get a feeling of escape and now its starting to feel less of an escape and more of a trap and I am going through nights where i barely sleep and life right now is out of control I just stand by not being able to do anything as those around me begin to get tired and think of me as more of a burden and I would be, because I was raised around a strong minded household that functions properly and I am non of these and I hate myself because of that and because of that I have set expectations for myself that I know that I won't accomplish and things around me aren't so well and I don't wan't to add to the problems, well other than that I juat need to let everything out and remind myself just because I didn't did it today, theres always tommorow. Also I'm sorry if your reading this and you are starting to get concerned and tbh someone desserves that concern more than useless old me either way thanks for hearing me out