Source
r/WLW•
Visible-Use-2496

Should i be worried?

So a few months ago my girl found out her ex passed away, we were still new then and I supported her through that even though her and I were starting out. So for context, her and the late ex were not on the best of terms when she passed, the ex had cheated on her and thats how things ended for them. Now my concern is the fact that she keeps posting the late ex on her stories😭? like im trying to understand what thats all about? especially because the late ex literally cheated on her, its not like they were besties or anything when she passed…am i being insensitive? what does this all mean? as her current person, am i supposed to understand or what?

Posted Aug 12, 2023, 9:03 PM UTC

17
estr3linha•

The way the relationship ended doesn’t negate all the love they had for each other whilst they were together.

It’s normal for her to be going through a grieving process, even if the relationship ended on bad terms that was still somebody who she loved and who she knew intimately.

The way you’ve worded this makes it seem as though you expect her to be over it because it was a few months ago but that’s not how grief works. I can appreciate that it isn’t easy to see your partner mourn a past lover but it is normal for her to do so.

1
Visible-Use-2496OP•

I understand….maybe i should take some time to be more mindful.

1
TheBuddhistTraveler•

I have an ex that basically did the same thing. Tore our relationship apart. I was so angry.

Then I met my wife. Uhaul'd and got married.

Sometime after that, I realized I forgave my ex. The feelings were still there, hell, were probably always there.

But I'm married, and I do love my wife. So I keep those feelings for my ex inside. Cause I know how much it would hurt my wife.

1
nizhoniie•

What da hell

1
TheBuddhistTraveler•

I love how it's fine to love more than one person if you are in an open relationship. But if it's not defined open, suddenly you're a horrible person.

1
nizhoniie•

I mean no one said you're a horrible person.

But you even said it yourself, your wife would be upset. Personally I would be upset too and would find it weird like why are you married to me but love someone else also. And I mean open relationships are open for a reason... because the partners are okay with multiple partners and loves

Idk thats just me 🤷‍♀️

1
TheBuddhistTraveler•

Can you choose what your heart feels?

I don't love my wife less because of my ex. I'm not unhappy in my marriage. And I would never cheat. I just happen to love two people.

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Visible-Use-2496OP•

see i wouldn’t be too happy about that😭…it sounds like it would be upsetting for your wife fr and i get why…don’t you?

1
TheBuddhistTraveler•

Who said I was happy about it?

Yeah, I get why. Which is why I keep it inside.

1
jodiepodiee•

Everyone deals with grief differently, some people want to talk about it with everybody and post pictures and relive stuff etc, some people shut down, don't wanna talk about it and just kinda stick to themselves with it, among multiple other reactions! This might just be her way of trying to deal with it. When looking back on certain situations, people can tend to cast aside bad memories and only remember the good times or things about someone. So it might be that she's kind of just ignoring the bad ending and grieving the person she knew before that. If that makes any sense.

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Visible-Use-2496OP•

i hear you, thank you i will be more mindful and graceful about it

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