[QCrit] Adult Fantasy - Spy of the Mind (95k words, 2nd)

Thanks for any feedback on the query and the first 300.

Query Letter:

I am seeking representation for my adult fantasy novel called SPY OF THE MIND. The manuscript is 95,000 words and has a fierce female lead, espionage, and romance that is comparable to Melissa Blair’s A Broken Blade and C. L. Clark’s The Unbroken.

Manipulator, mind mutilator, murderer. Sonia is called many things, and none of them are pleasant. Her public persona is a simple traveling singer, but underneath her kind eyes and alluring words, she is forced to work as a ruthless spy for the Rumago Empire. Sonia is willing to break any law, use her illicit psychic powers, and compulsively lie to complete any assignment. When she is mandated to work with Caleb, an uptight rule follower who refuses to use his summoning magic, they must find a way to work past their hatred towards each other and gain access to a warring nation’s security secrets.

While heading to the technologically advanced rival nation, the two of them are swarmed by the many terrifying monstrosities that stalk the perimeter of the capital. Sonia recklessly uses her magic to alter the monster’s memory and saves a prince and several soldiers. Sonia lies to the prince and convinces him that she can tame the creatures.

Sonia is now seen as a potential savior to deal with the monsters that haunt the capital, and she is thrown into the spotlight of the royal family and high society. Sonia will have to survive her newfound fame of being compelled to duel and tame horrifying beasts while still gathering intel on how to break the capital’s magical defenses. She also must manage her growing feelings towards Caleb, who is constantly losing control over his powers while being called to by a dark entity within the city’s depths. When Sonia learns that she may be able to save lives with her powers, she will have to make a choice that she never thought she would need to make. She must decide if she will become a protector for her new home, betray her new friends and serve her empire, or find a way to salvage Caleb’s mind before it completely shatters.

First 300:

Sonia’s eyes were blinded by the lights, and she was overwhelmed by the sound of thunderous applause echoing through the tavern. She beamed a wide smile and bowed with her long blonde hair cascading over her face. Cheers and demands for an encore rang throughout the room, but Sonia denied them. As much as she loved being praised instead of feared, she had her assignment to focus on. She waved to the crowd of people and stepped off the stage as the train for her blue gown trailed behind her. Her fellow musician, Caleb, followed her lead and shadowed her steps.

Sonia drifted through the packed tavern and scanned the room for her target. Since the town of Vytilona sat in the direct center of the continent, the building was enormous to sustain the many travelers, traders, and soldiers that passed through. It was an older three-story brick structure with a wooden stage for musicians, a central area for dancing, small nooks along the walls with crowded tables, and a bar top surrounded by drunk guests with full mugs.

While Sonia walked through the swarm of people, she would occasionally see someone who looked disinterested in her or her performance. She would then saunter over to their table, make polite conversation, laugh at their jokes, and discreetly cast a spell. As she left each group, the people became more infatuated with her perfect singing voice. She knew it was risky to use her illicit magic, but she always felt that a little danger was worth the reward.

After searching and mingling through the crowd for several minutes, Caleb grabbed Sonia’s hand and dragged her over to the dance floor with several other people. He had a little bit of sweat glistening across his tanned forehead, and his short black hair was completely disheveled. She kept a fake smile plastered across her face and followed him, but she would have rather hurled him across the room.