[2361] The Song of the Void

Prologue + Chapter 1

Hello all, this is my first time trying to write a novel so please be as constructively harsh as possible.

Please feel free to comment on as much of the good, the bad, the ugly, and the absolutely horrible as you'd like, but if you could provide a bit more feedback with regards to these points, I would be very appreciative:

• I know many people hate prologues because they tend to be an information dump/irrelevant. Is the use of a prologue acceptable here?
• Is my writing too flowery?
• Were there any areas that were particularly hard to get through for you? Why? On the flip side, were there any sentences that stuck out to you as being particularly well done?
• What do you think about Josiah?
• What was your impression of the conversation at the end of chapter 1?

[3420] Critique

Link to Story

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The premise is that>! the world is built on forces that bind everyone and everything together. When the people of that world became too divided, those binding forces began to fall apart and ended up splitting the world into two. Both pieces are unstable as their own dimension and it's up to the characters in each dimension to cause enough of a disturbance to allow the forces to reform and bind the dimensions back together. My story will follow two sets of characters. What you'll read here is the first dimension.!<