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r/spirituality•
Broges0311

Help if you can

NSFWPsychedelia 🌌

I was awoken by a series of events, premonitions, seeing orbs and a shadow being, as well as clear messaging in many forms. When I asked for a sign, I got a very clear one for nearly a year.

I started researching, meditation and going inward. I thought i had a good idea about what was happening. Spirituality became my focus.

Then, one meditation was different. I had a near OBE and went off to somewhere. Suddenly and without understanding why, I muttered 'I'm an angel' in more of a statement than a question. Then, again without context, I muttered "Why? I did nothing wrong." With no conscience emotion. I was confused and heard clear as day "Yes you did, you've done plenty" with a forceful voice. Still not understanding what or why, I tried many times afterwards to go back there but no dice.

I also noticed I wasn't getting any more signs. I'd ask to see something and nothing and my premonitions became inaccurate. Confused as to what was happening, I went to an ayahuasca retreat.

There, I took 2 doses before I purged but when I did, reality seemed to come apart and I could remember that I was some other being having a human experience. Then I heard a voice but not completely outside my body like during the meditation.

The voice said that for 2 choices I've made, there is no retribution, no way to clear karma and no escape. I fought by thinking of times where I was in deep love with my soon-to-be-ex wife. I said I choose love and called for my guides, ancestors and guardians without reply. The bad trip kept going. Raging faces, red eyed spirits (whom I asked if they were supposed to be Dark Vader") and so on but no more voices in my mind.

I have a neck injury and was in serious pain, hopeless and in the middle of a terrible experience which never seemed to end due to me withdrawaling from Kratom for the pain.

Now I'm even more lost, nearly hopeless and I recall a dream I had 12 years ago of losing everything, including my wife and later jumping off a bridge. I'm now of the thought that I was awoken to suffer the consequences of those 2 choices fully aware of my hopeless future and why I'm made to suffer.

I went from believing I'd make a difference in the world and use love to do it to being totally lost, hopeless and believing I'm being driven to jump off a bridge, but I simply won't. Perhaps things keep getting worse until I do but how could 2 choices without knowledge of the consequences (I was a physicalist and did not understand) be the trigger for so much pain and anguish and total hopelessness?

I'm totally lost and not feeling spiritual at al lmy life is in shambles and i have no hope for the future. Any help would be appreciated greatly in the most confusing time in my life.

Posted Aug 29, 2023, 4:37 PM UTC

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tom63376•

It sounds like you have the ability to tune in to energy and beings beyond the material world. The problem can be that not all communications from the spirit world are from true spiritual guides. There are spirit entities at the emotional/astral level, the mental level and the identity level. Some are evil and try to project fear into you. Many of them are not malevolent, or evil. They are just like many humans with their own views, biases, etc.. And they can siphon energy from you over the power of your attention, if you are willing or even an unsuspecting victim.

As an example, in all of the teachings that I trust, there is no decision that you cannot undo by making a better decision -- there is no karma that you cannot balance.

Regardless of the type of beings you may have opened yourself up to, you can get temporary relief through invocations or decrees to Archangel Michael, Astrea, etc, but in addition you will need to address the unresolved psychology that opened you up to the dark forces, demons, entities, etc. in the first place. The invocations and decrees will afford near immediate protection but you need to close the hole in your aura that allowed access to the dark spirits in the first place.

https://transcendencetoolbox.com/invocations-01-protection-and-clearance/

Even though you may be doubtful, try giving 30 min - 1 hour of decrees and invocations daily for just one week and see how you feel. In fact I'd recommend sitting down before you start and document your state of mind when you started and your state of mind after the week of decrees and invocations.

Next if I were you, I would consider starting on a path of self transcendence and self-mastery which promotes your growth in self awareness, and diminishes your identification with the lower, egoic self while shifting your identification to the higher self - the Spirit that you really are. It does this through a gradual path of self-observation and raising your awareness through seeking and internalizing spiritual insights and realities and the resolution of the psychology behind the consciousness of separation and duality.

Although, there is no 'one size fits all' approach to the spiritual path, there is one that I feel would be worth your time to at least consider. I like these teachings because they provide a continuing path, where one idea builds on another. I have never felt stuck and left thinking: "So what's next?" They have been invaluable to me.

This is a systematic path of psychological/spiritual self-transcendence.

There are volumes of free and extremely profound teachings on the family of websites. Here are two to get the flavor:

https://higherawarenesspsychology.com/getting-started/

https://www.agehigherawareness.com/

If that resonates with you there a number of (at least 60) books written by the same person (Kim Michaels)...to start: "A Course in Abundance" three book series: 1 "Mind Over Matter", 2 "Expressing Your Love For Life, 3 "Your Life's Plan For Abundance"

Then “The Path To Self-Mastery” nine book series, starting with “The Power of Self”

....All by Kim Michaels

Also the books "Journey of Souls – Case Studies of Life Between Lives" and "Destiny of Souls" by Dr. Michael Newton provide extremely credible and compelling accounts of life between life in the spiritual realm. How we create our own life plans for our embodiments, etc. Both are on YouTube as audiobooks.

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Broges0311OP•

Thank you for the thoughtful reply. I've been going through a dark period in my life. I had a vision of this period some 12 years ago. I was unable to stop it from occurring, but I'm trying to stop it from spiraling out of control..

The only way is self-mastery and you proved many references to how I can get through this with at least some of my life in tact.

I'll dig into this more, and I certainly appreciate your work on your post!!

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tom63376•

A very common statement in the teachings I recommended is: "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." My own experience has confirmed this is not merely idle chatter, but a solemn promise that when we surrender defending the status quo and reach for something higher, we will be helped.

Another statement is: "If the teacher be an ant, heed him." In other words, focus on remaining neutral and avoid any specific expectations of what the help you get will be and what form it will take or how it may be delivered.

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Aaronsennin•

All in due time, this too shall pass. Your experience now is to be wrestled with, not to be wrestled against.

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Aegis_Auras•

The entities that suggested you did something unforgivable and needed to suffer for it were either manifestations of your inner subconscious guilt, unresolved and returning to confront you, or they were external negative entities. Both is possible.

It is an impossibility by nature of cosmic law that any act is unforgivable. Any manifestation of consciousness suggesting the concept of unforgiveness is appropriate is incorrect and lacks a true understanding of the nature of the Creator.

The nature of the Creator is unity through infinite acceptance and love; the separation of shame, guilt, or unforgiveness do not exist within the Creator. This is not an assumption on my part, but a statement based on personal transcendental experiences. There are many great saints and sages across all human history and culture that have said and continue to say the same.

What you’ve encountered is a mere deception. The belief in this deception, the doubt and guilt it created, has caused your openness to freely accept the Creator’s love to shrink. This has caused difficulties in connecting to your guides and feeling positivity. Guilt and other negative emotions close spiritual gateways, making connection to higher states more difficult.

You need to forgive yourself. It it not just that the Creator has already forgiven you, but is that They had never condemned you to begin with.

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Broges0311OP•

I do forgive myself as I forgive others. I understand life in this dimension is difficult and environmental factors play a huge role on our respective personality, thus I easily forgive transgressions against me relatively quickly. I am a bit harder on myself but I am able to let things go.

From what I've read about channeling, I'm pretty sure the voice I heard was from another entity and not my subconscious. I think I'm open to negative energies, and they are causing me problems with life and making the wrong decisions.

I'll make it but my life has made a turn for the worse and I need all the help with these negative energies that I can get. I fo not feel I deserve all that's gone wrong in my life and ayahuasca has shown me how much control I actually have over my life. It comes down to doing the work and being resilient about being what I am in spirit.

The only way I make it through is to embody my true self and be resilient with it. This is the 1st step on my path and it won't be easy but I will keep on getting up and getting back on my path until I reach my goals.

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Aegis_Auras•

It’s good to hear back from you. I hope things are better for you now than they were.

I believe you’re very much no the right track regarding a focus on embodying your truer self. To find this state not only requires an understanding of who you truly are in a logical sense, but in an emotional sense as well. To be able to emotionally “feel” who you truly are and simply slip into it is an extremely important part of this overall realization.

In this way, when negative emotional suggestions or intent is felt, you can quickly identify their distastefulness via feeling on the emotional level. You can recognize the emotional energy as unfitting, negative, chaotic, and turn away from it immediately. You spend less time and effort trying to logically reason why the suggestions are incorrect, and can instead drop them from your mind and heart almost instantly.

Your truer self’s emotional state is one of contentment, joy, confidence, pleasure, and all positive emotion. These things are made so due to the infinite streaming of the Creator’s love to you. When recognizing this emotional state as your default, it’s easy to quickly identify energy suggestions not alined with it. Those suggestions can then be discarded.

I send you my prayers and good intent.

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