Source
r/USMC•
SmashedPotatoes89

No one fucking cares and nothing matters anymore.

Discussion

That’s how I feel now that I have been out for over a year. I was medically retired after almost 10 years in, ironically I was selected for Staff. I have done all my grade appropiate advanced schools (I was an 03) and had a good career I believe.

But now I just feel like it doesn’t matter. Whatever I did doesn’t matter. I do find myself ruminating over short comings more offen tho. Which pisses me off because I didn’t really dwell on that kind of things, since usually I did well in my field and my Marines respected me. Not because I was an asshole but because I treated them like men.

Anyways, the thing is that nowadays I just feel like nothing matters, I got out and it was just so anticlimatic.

I realized that I worked hard and literally broke my body for the organization and my Marines too, but at the end it didn’t matter.

Posted Aug 31, 2023, 11:34 PM UTC

126
SadEntertainment2186•

Civ div is weird af for the first 2 years then it settles in a little more

1
DonJota5Veteran•

I don't think people talk about hard the transition is, its feels like coming back from another planet or traveling to another demention

1
True-Stage9755•

Wtf is a demention? It’s spelt dimension.

1
just_a_tech6317 '02 - '11•

It's a place for the demented. That's us lol.

1
True-Stage9755•

No, that’s what you called stupidity. Being edgy, when you really aren’t. Is a sign of a frail ego. You aren’t that guy bud.

1
LootDropActual0351•

Bruv, get your shit sorted out with the VA if you haven't already, use the GI bill/vre/vet tech, get paid to find a new purpose. Bonus points if it's a job where you can buy your military time. It's frustrating as shit at first but it'll work out. Also, not sure on what your disability is but try to stay in shape, it will help (and you won't be able to get by with drinking as much as you used to, trust me).

1
SmashedPotatoes89OPVeteran•

I did as I was getting out since I am a med retiree. Got 100% and I just earned my degree in Business since I used TA whenever I could and used the Voc Rehab to finish the semester I had left. I do try and stay in shape by riding the stationary bike(Peloton) and do some bodyweight workouts since lifting is out of the question.

Planning on getting a Masters Degree eventually, but the thing is that even when I did good things I feel like is never enough, maybe I should change the way I approach things.

1
Dahrus•

Well god damn…not many in the country, let alone world, are collecting as much $ as you are for life for working at a place for only 10 years. Don’t turn into mush there, smashed potatoes. Go out there and be a sugar daddy with benefits to some chick with big fake titties

1
SmashedPotatoes89OPVeteran•

Lol, that was great. I’m married tho and my wife works so she is kinda my sugar mama now. We can say I am the dependa now.

1
Dahrus•

As the dependa, it is time for you to put on 70lbs and bitch at her for every little thing, every day.

1
Dreyfus00•

Friend, remember it was a chapter. It was a chapter that consumed you 24/7–that is the lifestyle. Not too many other careers do that and they are often-times regarded as weird by outsiders—think frats, sororities, college alum, business associates. Even those pale in comparison to the all-encompassing experience of military service. That said, whether it’s months or decades of service (to say nothing of deployments, combat, etc.), that is a piece of you. Expand on the rest of you be it family, hobbies, or whatever. Keep this piece as large or small as you want and don’t worry about optics or what others think. We do a terrible job of transitioning our people but know you owe nothing to anyone except to continue to excel as YOU. I wish the best to you, your family, and your future.

1
NobodyByChoice•

The disassociation you're describing is a big indicator of a depression. Lots of us have been there in your circumstances. Have you talked to anyone about all these feelings?

1
SmashedPotatoes89OPVeteran•

I have, I even went through a lot of counseling and treatment as I was on my way out. I had many stressors and was worried about what was going to come next and what I could do for my family. But I’m better these days, way better. I made this post as a vent since it was something that was lingering in the back of my head. I realize I’m not the only nor the first or last person to go through this, not trying to make a woe is me story either lol.

1
bigtrucksbigbucks5•

It’s always weird getting out after 4 years or 20, good news is because of what the corps taught you you’ll be able to figure it the fuck out… give it some time, you’ll figure it out and be way ahead of the civilians you work with from here on out

1
ConsiderationMoney96•

Yep, transitioning out is not a slow change. You go down to IPAc and they give you your DD-214 and it's just over.

It may not seem like it made a difference but it does. We all had an NCO that made an impact in our lives. You were probably one to some young devil dog and they'll probably think back fondly on how you helped them out. I know I did. I still think about some of my NCOs and the wisdom they gave me. They may not voice that to you, but it is there.

1
OldDesk•

Most struggles probably didn't matter much. It mattered in the long-term, in a grander philosophical way though.

The next generation of Marines will be following the standards of the last, learning and building off their knowledge. So they can build off of slobs, cowards and idiots.... or they can build off a group that has their shit together in every area you can look through.

If we're in some serious war 10 years from now, will the Marines be in a good spot? If not, will it be their fault or those who instructed them through the ranks over these years?

I'm a firefighter now and feel like I do more to help in a real way over a single week than my four years in the corps. But I did what I was asked and set a good example for those coming after me to follow.

1
SmashedPotatoes89OPVeteran•

I’d like to think that what I thought my dudes got passed down to their dudes and so on.

1
xmz12340311•

Maybe I'm just a maniac but I had no problems getting out. 0311 in 2007, iraq + afghanistan, I was gung ho in the beginning. Was shocked when I reached the ripe ol' age of 21. Had my first legal beer in a bar after two deployments where I almost died countless times. Definitely wanted out because the threat of having to go through that shit again was terrifying to me and I felt like I was pushing my luck. Narrowly missed out on a short timer pump to sangin with a stop loss. I very much appreciated being out and I got stoned as fuck with my buddies first night back on the block. You just kind of have to reinvent yourself. Cashed out my TSA (not good financial advice), spent the summer living at my parents going fishing every day and getting stoned before starting college. Probably one of the happiest periods of my life; no cares in the world for a few months after 4 years of hell + stress. Ya just have to let it go.

Go to college or start a trade with the GI bill man. It was pretty rough at first being a 0311 corporal squad leader in class with college freshmen but if it is a subject you like just start a new life and put the military shit behind you. Save the reminiscing for when you're hanging out with vets... it can be very refreshing hanging with vets from any era but do it sparingly. As sad as it sounds just forget you ever served in your day to day life and focus on something new.

1
SonofFinn•

Welcome to the real suck. It’ll work out. And you have us to bitch to if it doesn’t

1
ChillinLikeDylan•

Honestly this is the reality of human life. Being in the military is like a temporary distraction from reality. Theres 7.8 billion people on this planet. And theres been over 100 billion humans that have ever lived. Of course you and I and what we did or didnt do dont matter in the long run.

1
whoshitmypants69•

You didn't break your body for an organization, your body broke because you gave it your all every day training yourself and your Marines. It does matter, and though your name and face may never be posted on any wall somewhere, you are still undoubtedly part of the legacy.

1
ghost24jmVeteran•

https://preview.redd.it/hntos3efqklb1.jpeg?width=2863&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f1edd93cd4961b54c7e55e8aa23978c04d864fdc

1
psyb3r0•

So you're like 30ish, a Marine NCO, with all the discipline and tenaciousness that come with that title, full disability, and have a business degree...

Well you're never gonna starve so why not start a business, it doesn't even need to be profitable, just break even, and it should be something fulfilling for you. You unlocked the secret level.

Yeah, no one cares, that just makes it even more top tier. You can do pretty much anything and no one is ever gonna say anything because you literally can not fail at this point. I hope you realize at some point the cheat code has been entered and it's nothing but power ups and extra lives all the rest of the way to the credits.

There's a Captain in my neck of the woods in a similar circumstance 20 some years ago. He runs a company with 30+ employees mostly all vets. He provides a service to the community at a reasonable price. The guys working for him that I have met love their job and are making pretty good bank. We need more stories like that. It's not all for nothing and what you do does matter. So go and be a retired Marine, maybe I'll see you in the Costco and give you a Hoorah! Turn the page.

1
north006xx•

If you had a Marine in similar circumstances that came to you and described the same problems, what would you tell them? You sound like a good NCO, so I doubt your counsel to them would be "no one fucking cares and nothing matters, get used to it."

So why are you providing this counsel to yourself?

What makes you think it didn't matter? How many lives did you impact by providing leadership and mentorship? Did you do everything your nation asked of you for a decade? What more could you have done?

1
bobafeeet•

It’s a weird feeling knowing that the organization moved on without you; you were barely a drop in the bucket or a ripple on the pond. I have the benefit of working as a reservist in the last unit I was active duty in. People still come up to me and ask “hey, haven’t seen you in a while, where’d you go?” It hurts that no one notices you moving on.

My solution? Find happiness elsewhere. Enjoy the good memories and find some boys (VFW, local organizations, some old dudes drinkin coffee at Dunkin and swapping stories) to share them with. Get into some productive hobbies in your spare time to keep your mind occupied. I took up fishing and share it with my son.

1
GruntLife0369•

I got denied reenlistment 6 months after pinning SSgt at 8 years as an 0311 for "excessive tattoos." That was 7 years ago, life goes on man. What helped me was contracting and being around the same type of people, finding some semblance of "community" again.

Definitely sort your VA stuff out, that can ease a lot of stress for you. You can do a lot of things in the civ world that brought you fulfillment while you were in. Shooting, PT, training courses, outdoor stuff like climbing, hiking, hunting etc.

The Marine Corps is really good at making your world small and prioritizing things in your immediate sphere of influence and when you no longer have that sphere and the world opens up to you at EAS, it can be underwhelming for having a sense of purpose and overwhelming with trying to pick a purpose.

Get into a technical school for a trade, you'll learn useful shit and can be surrounded by blue collar types as well while figuring out a career.

1
Sandman92c•

Nothing in life is supposed to matter. You did a job in the marines in the same way someone does a job at a super market. It’s not supposed to make you feel like a superhero. It’s just a job.

1
WonderLead_Veteran•

I blew a whole year on drugs nic and porn. After getting out. You gave a fuck while I didn’t, you’re the bigger man and you can rest easy.

You accomplished so much more than others can say, including myself I lament not doing more but , if I look towards the past I only invoke anger and regret which then only hurts me.

You gave it what you could when you were there so take pride in it. If you did it for you good , if you did it for your marines even better.

It was a stepping stone for what’s to come next.

1
CWO_of_Coffee•

Welcome to 1stCivDiv. It’s difficult to find people that can give you the same sense of brotherhood that we get from other Marines. I’ve found that there’s very few civilian friends who will have your back like the majority of Marines will.

The other part is most civilian jobs do seem meaningless; which in part on my end makes them easy. I put in effort, but not near enough as what I do as a Marine yet I still excel. There’s meaningful work like firefighting and policing and I’m sure there’s quite a few more out there.

It’ll take time to get used to it and adapt.

1