Source
r/legaladvice•
Rowka

Fired for a single non-hateful teasing comment with no history of offense.

I worked as a server in a restaurant until earlier today. I made a comment to a fellow server that was overheard by another and turned into huge drama that I was fired over. I was not fired for the comment, I was fired because other people that where not a part of the conversation heard about what was said and created a huge deal about it.

The situation: I was having a conversation with Tia (name changed), Sara (name changed) walks past us from behind me. I was gesturing with my hands as I was talking. Sara says "oh my god you almost gave me a black eye." I didn't make contact with her mind you, she was teasing me about gesturing. I said: "Can you even get a black eye?" Presumably because of her dark skin color. The answer to which is yes people with dark skin can get black eyes, obvious to all of us.

Sara gets offended, Tia says "I can't believe you just said that." I say "oh no, was that too far, I'm sorry." I apologize several more times throughout the night. I ask Sara later if she is sure she is ok. She says she is.

Sara is always making comments about "white boys" and "the difference between white and black men" A lot of people comment on race and skin color casually at work in non-hateful ways. Sara also has bumped into me before and says stuff like "I'm gunna report you to HR." which is ridiculous since she bumped into me. She says it like I can't tell if she's serious, but she made contact with me so she obviously cannot report me for that.

Three days pass. My next shift comes up and it goes on with no problems. Our bartender comments "Oh I hear you're a comedian now" referring to the comment from several days ago, my manager hears her say this and asks her to please let it pass so it doesn't turn into a big deal, Sara is fine, I still feel bad at this point. It is myself and Sara all dinner and we close together, I leave to go home, she gives me a hug and we say our goodbyes.

A comment about the bartender too: On her first few days she would touch my hand for too long and brush up against me when she walked past me, I gave her back negative body language and she stopped doing these things, so I let it drop. She seemed mildly hostile towards me after that.

I get a call next day from my GM telling me that I am fired because the kitchen staff heard about the comment, and now are saying they feel uncomfortable working with me. I tried to have a good relationship with everyone I work with. I am not as outgoing with all of the back of house staff, but I say hi to them and have hung out with several of them. I always say how much I appreciate the kitchen manager and assistant kitchen manager, they do a great job.

I was very blindsided by this firing. My guess is that the bartender made a big deal about it and got everyone riled up. She has some unhinged energy and is very over the top.

NY law says that one non-hateful teasing comment is not considered racial discrimination.

I feel like if I wasn't white I would still have a job.

My question is: Is this wrongful termination.

Posted Sep 1, 2023, 3:04 AM UTC

120
reddituser1211Quality Contributor•

No, it isn’t wrongful termination to fire you over a racially insensitive comment.

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RowkaOP•

I wasnt fired for the comment I was fired because the bartender got the kitchen staff riled up. everything was fine until she slandered me to them.

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reddituser1211Quality Contributor•

You made a racially insensitive comment. You were fired for it.

That they decided they need to fire you because the kitchen staff got riled up about it doesn’t change the underlying issue. If the kitchen staff were fired up that you were white, you’d still have a job (or you’d have a cause of action). You were fired because you said something stupid and insensitive. That’s a legitimate reason to fire you. That someone told the kitchen staff you said the racially insensitive thing you said isn’t defamation.

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RowkaOP•

Right, I should accept that people can change the meaning of my words and use it against me. Life isnt fair.

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reddituser1211Quality Contributor•

Life isn’t fair. But make no mistake - you can be and would be many places fired for this.

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RowkaOP•

Thank you for your reply.

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TeamStark31•

No this isn’t wrongful termination.

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rlezar•

I feel like if I wasn't white I would still have a job.

So you're alleging that your former employer fired you because of your own race?

That would be illegal discrimination. It's unclear that you would have a strong argument given the circumstances you've related herr, but you can certainly make it to the EEOC or the appropriate agency in New York.

NY law says that one non-hateful teasing comment is not considered racial discrimination.

Cool. New York is an at-will employment state. As long as it wasn't expressly based on a characteristic or status that is protected by federal or state law, it was still legal for them to fire you for just about any reason, whether you think you deserved it or not.

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RowkaOP•

Yes they only got offended by my comment because of the color of my skin. I have heard them say hateful things about people of their own skin color. My comment wasn't hateful.

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rlezar•

Yes they only got offended by my comment because of the color of my skin.

Aha. So you weren't fired because you are white. You got fired because you made an incredibly inappropriate (and racially insensitive) comment to a coworker, which others in your workplace found offensive.

You would do well to educate yourself further on federal and state laws regarding harassment in the workplace instead of just cherry-picking snippets that you think exonerate you.

For instance, under federal law:

The victim does not have to be the person harassed, but can be anyone affected by the offensive conduct.

and

The employer will be liable for harassment by non-supervisory employees or non-employees over whom it has control (e.g., independent contractors or customers on the premises), if it knew, or should have known about the harassment and failed to take prompt and appropriate corrective action.

Sure sounds like your employer complied with the law here.

I have heard them say hateful things about people of their own skin color.

And if those comments offended you, you should have reported them.

My comment wasn't hateful.

What you intended and how it was received are two different things.

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RowkaOP•

Thank you for replying to my post. The fact that people can twist the meaning of my words to have real negative impact on my life is sad. But I have to accept that we live in a world of manufactured outrage, I need to accept that.

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RowkaOP•

Thank you for your reply.

1
SirGunther•

Not a lawyer, but I have experience in the restaurant service industry.

Let’s consider the context from your point of view. Was it racially insensitive? On one hand it could be seen that way, but on the other if it was a genuine question out of pure ignorance it may be forgivable, some people genuinely don’t know answers to these sorts of questions. And look, working in those environments… that is a possibility.

But if you ask me, that’s not why you were fired…

You worked in a restaurant where any number of strangers from any type of background could walk through the door. Having the knowledge and experience to know what kinds of questions are appropriate and what may slip out… that’s a risk assessment… and that is part of what you are vetted for as a server.

You don’t get redos when a customer sues for even a genuine clarifying question that can be taken out of context. That’s why you don’t talk about race in the workplace. They don’t want that attention. It’s a liability.

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RowkaOP•

This was in the server area where customers cannot hear us.

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SirGunther•

I think you’re missing the point, once your GM had you in the radar for saying anything potentially inappropriate in the workplace, that translates to, I don’t know if I can trust that they won’t do it again and a customer may over hear… even when you think nobody else is listening. By your own admission, you thought nobody else was around, and that’s the problem, it’s a work place, it’s the appropriateness of doing it at a place of work at all. Back room, freezer, bathroom, just don’t, literally no reason for it.

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RowkaOP•

My GM says way more inappropriate things in the work place. The problem here is that the Bartender blew up a benign comment. I swear yall dont read the posts.

1
SirGunther•

Oh we read it, but because we aren’t agreeing that you being fired wasn’t a justifiable and likely potential outcome, doesn’t mean we’re ignoring it either. If you were looking for a personally army to back your position, this ain’t it.

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RowkaOP•

thank you for your reply/

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RowkaOP•

Thank you for your reply

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[deleted]•

[removed]

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