[QCrit] INTENT & VIGOR – adult fantasy – (76K, 1st attempt)

Hi all! This is my first attempt at a query.

Any thoughts appreciated. Please don’t hold back, I have thick skin. Thanks!

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[PERSONALIZED INTRO]. I'm seeking representation for my adult fantasy novel, "INTENT & VIGOR." Complete at 76,000 words, it's a standalone work with series potential. Fans of Shelley Parker-Chan’s "SHE WHO BECAME THE SUN" and R.F. Kuang’s "THE POPPY WAR" will appreciate its dark themes of fate and its unreliable narration.

In a city divided by blood and belief, Rakhas, a young Vespran man, struggles to find an identity amidst the growing tensions between the Auroran majority and Vespran minority. Many Vesprans have sought solace in their dark deity, the Dusksong. In return, the Dusksong has Favored a small number of Vesprans, including Rakhas’ older brother Mordai. This Favor has given the chosen Vesprans the power to wield Vigor, a mystical force that allows them to glimpse into the future, turning them into clairvoyant holy warriors. Because of Mordai’s divine selection, Rakhas has largely turned his back to his people’s beliefs, not content to exist within the shadow of his brother.

However, when the Mortal Brotherhood, a fanatical group of Aurorans hell-bent on exterminating the Vespran people, launches a brutal attack on their village, Rakhas and Mordai are forced to flee the only home they've ever known. Haunted by guilt and grief for those left behind, Rakhas struggles to find solace in the teachings of the Dusksong under his brother’s guidance. However, the Dusksong’s intent for the Vespran people might not be as simple as their protection, nor the Mortal Brotherhood’s as simple as their destruction.

As the brothers flee to the city of Sepultura, a sanctuary for the Vespran people, the Mortal Brotherhood's lethal influence trails them. As Rakhas unravels an ancient conspiracy and faces monstrous horrors, he must rely on the bonds of blood and faith to face the merciless currents of fate.

During my day job, I work on the development of the next generation of nuclear reactors, but have always had a passion for storytelling. For the past four years, I have had a part-time job as a professional Dungeon Master for D&D campaigns. Getting people to pay me for a service that most offer for free has required me learn how to tell marketable and engaging stories, which I believe has transferred to my skills as an author.

Thank you very much for your consideration, I have the complete manuscript available upon request. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

[MY NAME]

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300 words:

I hummed a drunken melody as I relieved myself against the alleyway wall, the cold night air nipping at my exposed skin. It only seemed fitting that if I came to the rich part of town to drink, the fine wine should make its exit here too—far too good for the slums. The dim moonlight filtering into the cobblestone alley was my only company at this late hour as I continued to hum to myself.

“Hey, Demon boy!” someone called from behind me.

“Shit,” I muttered, hastily retying my breeches.

Taking a moment to plaster a smile on my face, I turned to see who called. Three young men in their early twenties loomed at the mouth of the alleyway, arms crossed and smirks on their faces. The pale lunar light was enough to reveal their Auroran features, their light-brown skin a shade paler than mine and their eyes distinctly rounder.

I took a step towards them, smiling cheerily. “My apologies, gentlemen, didn't mean to interrupt your evening stroll. Just draining the dragon, pay me no mind.”

As I continued toward them, they remained unmoving, arms crossed and blocking my exit.

“My dad told me Vesprans burn if you splash holy water on them,” the middle one sneered at me. “How about we go to the Dawnbringer's temple and test that out?”

“A generous offer, my friend, but only a myth, I'm afraid,” I replied, maintaining my cheerful tone. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I really must be on my way.”

They continued to stand there, blocking my path. I paused and looked them over, a disarming smile still painted on my face. We waited for a moment in tense silence. “How about we get to know each other,” I said, extending a hand. “My name is Rakhas.”

The boys refused my handshake, eyeing me with a mix of wariness and disdain.