Is it bad to say I like my body pre-everything?

So I haven’t started hormones or anything but I’ve been out and trans to my friends for about 2 years now. I definitely know I feel dysphoria and sometimes I wish I could just wake up in a cis woman’s body, but recently I’ve started to feel transitioning with hormones doesn’t seem logical for me. I mean top surgery would be nice but the thing is I like my dick, I like having sex with woman with my dick, and I already have some ED problems from my anti psychotics. The feeling I get when I can’t get hard is so dreadful and very upsetting. I feel as if I go on hormones only guys would want to date me and I don’t really like bottoming. I don’t know just having a positive sex life to me is important and I kind of like being a masculine woman, I just feel like I’m disrespecting trans women by not transitioning. It’s not like I think I’m above it I just think that it’s really scary and I don’t know if I could mentally deal with the side effects.