Real bad day....

I had a pain clinic appointment, that, due to my own stupidity I didn't set my alarm right for....so I slept through it....I even slept through my caregivers 3 attempts to wake me, which I have zero memory of. I'm out of pain meds since yesterday....I called the owner of my group home and explained that, while I set my alarm I didn't save it correctly. She told me she didn't want to hear my excuses...after I was already freaking out about missing my appointment and not remembering the attempts to wake me.

She already demonstrated a lack of understanding of my CPTSD and TBI symptoms and how the symptoms manifest. A few weeks ago I told her that I was having bad anxiety reaction dye to the noise in the house...later she made a remark about ppl walking on eggshells around me...today I told her Co owner and husband that from now on I won't deal with her anymore. We had a good conversation and I feel better...

But earlier, before we talked, I came closer to suicide than I've been in years...scissors out everything. I'm a lot better now, but life got unbearably difficult earlier.