Chatted with a girl for 6 months, never got to meet her. Now in a rp with someone else, can't find peace with the entire situation.

Sorry for the long text.

After a rough breakdown, I (M23) signed up on Tinder, met this girl (F21), let's call her Giselle. We took it to instagram and started chatting non-stop. Mind you, I'm from a small town, so meeting people at all is a rare W, but G ended up being a hidden gem, I liked everything about her. We hit it off instantly, but there were no romantic intentions, very light flirting at times, I guess you could say we were vibing and just enjoying each others online company. We both were introverted, it was Winter-time and we just chatted about random stuff and discovered each other in-depth, call it talking to your comfort person. We both were single, had similar interests and understood each other perfectly. She looked very attractive to me as well, I liked everything about her, without even meeting her.

So after about 5-6 months of chatting, we decide to hang out. She was a college student and was busy with studies, plus none of us had real intentions on taking it to the next level, so having an online buddy was pretty satisfactory for the given amount of time. When we got bored, we discussed the idea of meeting some time in the coming weeks, and it was obvious that we'd end up together, as everything checked out and she mentioned more than once that she would also be invested in me, when we decide to escalate. This is when she rolls into the exam period and I offer her to talk less so she can take care of her exams properly, then we'll finally meet once she's done and she happily agreed. This is when I meet this other girl (F20) out of nowhere, madly fall for her and that is who my girlfriend is today, we'll call her Sandra.

I don't complain, I'm happily taken, my relationship with Sandra is wonderful, she's all I could ask for, loves me very much, all's cool to keep it short.

When the Giselle came back from the exams, she checked on me, and I gave her the news and she reacted adequately. After all, I didn't do anything wrong, we weren't in a relationship, hell we never met. We might've liked each other's perception, shared bunch of similarities and felt like this could become a thing, but I mean for some galactical reason, we never met and I met this other girl, who is my girlfriend now. This to me feels like a life-changing coincidence, an event that massively switched the gear on the script of my life.

Fast forward about a year, when things get really heated up between me and Sandra and the solution we come up with is breaking up. That didn't last long, because I knew I'm the reason that things are not working, so while single, I took it upon me to clear my head and if I feel like it afterwards, I'm gonna give it another try with Sandra. I was single, I had the chance to give up and finally reach out to Giselle, but guess what, that bever happened and I went back to Sandra and we made it work, so we are still in a committed relationship, happily!

Lastly, I'm a DJ, I play in high-end bars in my town. Giselle showed up during one of my gigs recently. She then texts me, says I was really good and you could tell this was in a friendly way. I knew this would be our last chat, because I'm committed to Sandra. I told her that I hated her appearance, because I'm essentially attracted to her and I didn't want to be reminded of her. She brings up a lot of thoughts and curiosities in me. Is that because she was so good and I never met her? Is that because I saw so much potential in her but never got to uncover it? These thoughts are killing me. It's not even about which girl to chose or do I really love Sandra. We all meet people that stay with us and bug us every now and then right? Well Giselle is the bug, and I can't really get her out of my thoughts and this sucks. I am doing my best to wipe her out of my mind, but I'm old enough to know it doesn't really work like that. I hope to god she gets in a relationship or something like that, so I can find some peace, but I mean, she always said how hard it is to date adequate people in our society and how good I actually was, even as a chatting buddy.

My mind needs a break, and this mess I find myself in, is too much, I'm afraid it's going to affect my current relationship some day.