Everything is Expensive, No One Has Time or Help, and Some People Have No Genuine Interest in Solving Problems. Add Animals and Poof there goes sanity.

I work on a horse farm with horses and dogs. I am the animal caretaker certain times of day/week. The intensity of the trouble that happens because neither my primary, nor my secondary boss has time or patience to train their dogs more than "sit for treat", blah blah blah. They are old-school in thinking their dogs should and can properly identify threats outside the house by barking (they think the delivery guy is a threat, so nope), sometimes screaming (when no one listens to them barking). So naturally, Me, someone with strong noise issues, physically and mentally, just has to deal with it- my eardrums be damned. Secondary boss naturally isn't a pet person, doesn't work with my primary boss on how to manage their dog's behaviors that resulted from lack of training, so they both just overcompensate by using 'bandaid' fixes for these problems. I take animal care seriously, and even though I am not classically trained or super knowledgeable I can tell the difference between safe behaviors and "why the actual fuck do you allow this shit" behaviors. Rule #1 of getting through these situations is just remaining quiet, unless asked and even then there is a heavy ass silent assumption that your opinion should not be said outloud. So keep it simple. It sounds like a bit of ass-kissing, it kinda is. Every. Damn. Time. Secondary boss is slowing down on purpose, can't retire until Primary boss gets their private business settled, and so in the natural progression of things I am tired and almost constantly having shoulder, neck, back and everything else problems because I have to do the things that my secondary boss doesn't have time to do. The fact that my bosses' will be able to retire, eventually, while I can't even live currently, infuriates me. For different reasons I will commend them for not telling me I have to do mechanical shit or legit training, because nope, that's not happening. My pay is shit, because its shit hourly wages instead of gauged towards how massively important the individual tasks are and that they are handled quickly (read: doesnt take an hour). The only good thing is I get paid weekly. I say this as someone that worked at a plant nursery at little pay an hour, plus slightly more during overtime, during busy season. I know barely-okay wages. My job hours are like if a part time job got cut into multiple parts and still don't make sense. So I have multiple hours of downtime that are needed to recover. But I sit there wondering what the fuck is going on. The part that I do my best to conceal but have to mention, to add context to my situation, is that I can not drive. And like my title states, everything is expensive. Namely gas, cars, everything. I patiently wait over and over to have slightly a chance, but my shit wages and ever chaotic life/work never lets up. No money most of the time. If I am able to save a good chunk up, Welp the internet router broke, spend it on new one. All my hobbies are online, I don't really enjoy anything because I can rarely try anything new, and I work everyday to not let my previous mental health struggles and mindsets come back full force. I was medicated and it worked its magic. Now I just have to deal with people's lack of consideration, time and everything. I can not get my own home, rent, whatever. I live with my parents. I try not to laugh when people ask and then say "oh good, you can save up money". Nope, most of my pay goes back to my household. Yeah, yeah I know we gotta work together. But sometimes you need your own money to stay in your own account and thrive. I have a bad attitude towards people when it comes to my situation, because people do not ask me questions, they assume. Lazy, entitled, good for- I cut them off there. Otherwise, I am one of the purposefully happy people that try constantly to make someone's day brighter. My situation sucks, but my inner peace and happiness lights up the darkness.

Anyway, its the afternoon for me and I have the day off mostly. Stay beautiful, fuck the bad thoughts. I have cats to pet, horses to yell hello to. Fuck my situation, it can catch me in hell. If you got this far, say hi in the replies! Signed, Forever exhausted but free, Thorny9Rose8