Me (20F) and my girlfriend (20F) are struggling over anxiety

I deeply love my girlfriend. We have been together for 6 months and she - up until now - has been my first positive experience with a partner.

Things just started getting a little rocky last week. My girlfriend suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, maybe PTSD because of trauma with past girlfriends. We never struggled with her anxiety until Uni started back up. There's an ex she sees there sometimes in the hallways who triggers her panic attacks, and as a result, her panic attacks started up again, something I've never dealt with before.

I went to visit her last week and within an hour she had to leave because of an extreme panic attack. I thought it was a one-off thing, and then it happened again.

I had to explain to her that while I know her mental health conditions are not her fault, that I feel abandoned by her actions, like I'm losing her.

She wants to see me to reassure me of her love, but is afraid of triggering a panic attack and then having me as her association for panic attacks.

As of today, I've been giving her space (and myself) because I'm starting to feel sad and anxious about her anxiety and how it's affecting our relationship. I told her that I want to focus on myself for a bit and that she should do the same. I was cheated on in the past so this whole panic attack thing triggers my abandonment issues/insecurities that I'm still healing from.

We are meeting tomorrow again because she feels really bad about how she's reacted to me. She wants to try and overcome her anxieties and make amends. I'm going to try and see how it goes, but I do have my worries.

TLDR: Girlfriend is afraid of having panic attacks around me. I feel like I need more from her. Should I wait and see or take more action?

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Posted Sep 22, 2023, 5:25 PM UTC

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