Does love really even exist?

I was listening to Mitskis new song, My Love Mine All Mine where she talks about how loving is the best thing she ever did. Does love exist??? Can I really feel love one day???? Does it exist for me?? I honestly know this sounds stupid, but how can I know it really exists if Ive never felt it?? But I really can’t imagine a life where I can really find someone who’d love me and want to marry me. I know it so deeply in my core that I shake with this feeling, I know love does not exist for me. Not for me. It’ll never happen. I’ll be waiting on a shooting star all my life, a miracle, even though I know I am incapable of being loved.

I want someone to yell at me and scream at me that love exists. And that one day I can find someone who’ll love me. But I really do not believe I am capable of this. Am I cursed forever? Will peace ever come? Can I please just maybe even for one day, be filled with this love everyone seems to have???

I am trying to find acceptance in being alone forever. But it’s really hard. I cannot believe whoever is watching over us, God, that He would put me through this feeling. I feel like my heart is being torn apart and I can’t breathe. I’m drowning and screaming for help that never comes.

Has anyone here truly found love???? Can I be loved one day????