MISS TIRED OF BEING OPTION

How you ever experienced na palagi kang ginagawang option? Minsan harap harapan, minsan patago. Well, before mayroon akong circle of friends na I thought I was part of it. Then I realize na paunti unti habang tumatagal, every group activities and whatsoever, ang nangyayari kapag may sobra sa kanila or hindi na puwede kasi sobra na sa akin sila sasama tapos ako, I still accepted them and mag-hahanap ng ibang ang group pa. May isang beses na groupings kami, tapos nakaset na, kasama 'yong ibang ko so-called friends. Okay na e, kompleto na then biglang nag-open ng spot 'yong isa kong friend then you know, what happened? Lumipat sila doon and while me, nag-hanap ako ng papalit sa kanila para makabuo ng groups. I'm really not out going person, introvert ako and also, I love spending time with myself. Okay lang sa akin if they don't want me or not to talk to me, okay lang, mabubuhay ako. But I'm hurt because I was treated like an option to them and I do believe that no one deserve that kind of treatment. Sa dating or any romantic stuff, my ex boyfriend broke up with me because he said, he wasn't ready to have an relationship but then after two months of break up, he got a new girlfriend. Tapos sa katalking stage ko before, he told me stop na kami sa gano'ng set up because he met someone that he likes. I actually, supported him because naging honest siya, so, lumayo ako. Then yk, what he told me, he is having a hard time sa pag-d-desisyon kasi kapag nag-stop daw kami, baka wala na tumulong sa studies niya and wala siyanhg kopyahan. Then one night, active siya nakipag-usapan sa akin because tulog na 'yong girl. Like he literally told me, ikaw kinakausap ko kasi tulog na 'yong binibaby ko. I was shocked kasi I thought, alam mo catch up lang gano'n, like friends talk lang but I didn't know na gano'n pala, micro-cheating na 'yon e. So, I distant myself and sleep pero masama loob ko. Until now may conversation pa rin ako with that guy kasi kagroup ko siya sa dalawang subject and leader ako doon. Add mo pa na class leader ako, like lahat ng concern sa akin nila sinasabi para ipadala ko sa mga professors namin. But don't get me wrong, nag-r-reply lang ako sa guy if necessary and I keep it professional because I respect the girl, I respect the girl code, I respect myself and I don't want to hurt anybody. Pero the point of this situation is ayoko na maging option palagi nila, nakakapagod and everyday mapapatanong ka if there are someone na ginawa kang priority? Is there someone na hindi ka trinatrato na option lang nila? Masakit, vebs, masakit.