Source
r/gaslighting•
ringummy

Being Gaslighted at Work?

Okay. I understand that I am a quiet person. I understand that I am not approachable. But I always try to speak to people. Well that is how I was when I first began the job over 2 years ago.

People don't speak to me or acknowledge my existence. I get it. When I first began the job, I was dealing with grief (miscarriage just a few weeks before) and I suffer from anxiety and depression. I always spoke to people but I made horrible first impressions.

I'm lonely at work being the outcast.

The only reason I am questioning this is because I feel like I'm the unstable one. People are cold to me and have been since they realized that I am a quiet person. So naturally, when I walk into a room, I try to speak but I've stopped doing it because either they don't speak back and look at me funny or they don't speak to me initially.

I know in order to have good interactions with others, I need to show interest in them. I simply couldn't do that at the time. So I've eventually made a bad name for my self.

I'm sorry for rambling and I do feel insane thinking about this situation. Sorry for any typos in advance.

Posted Sep 25, 2023, 2:32 PM UTC

16
FiringNerveEndings•

These are real challenges that a lot of us face. You're not alone. I suggest therapy to navigate this situation

1
zeeshan2223•

r/hsp maybe. Extroverted work people are kind of like dogs they dont really remember one day from the next. Like they wake up and everything is new to them. I would say just lean into conversations when they happen and nobody is really sitting there thinking about you.

1
ringummyOP•

I will try that.

1
Only-Nature7410•

Honest question, I am learning myself, is this considered gaslighting? To me I don’t how it’s gaslighting as it’s defined by people lying or sowing self doubt in another person.

1
ringummyOP•

I’m considered the bad person; however, I never did anything to anyone. I speak to people and that isn’t enough. I get the cold shoulder because I’m not like everyone else. They make it out to be my fault but I tried to be a decent human being.

1
dogrescuersometimes•

this sounds painful.

bug hugs to you.

you should know that people respond this way, it's not what you think.

it looks like you're the weird outcast so they don't speak to you.

I don't think so.

I think that either (a) they think you are rejecting them, which triggers their insecurities, causing their defensive response towards you, or (b) they're empathic enough to see that socializing is a problem for you, so they don't engage out of respect.

one possible path for you is one on one conversation about a common bond.

love of dogs or cats is a good subject for bonding.

if you see a kitty or doggo pic on someone's wall, and the moment works for you, you can say, your kitty pic is so cute, is that your cat?

people who love animals are the least scary, because you know for a fact they are capable of love.

hugggggs

1