Does anyone else feel like their life is on hold while they work towards having a more desirable body.

Last year I worked really hard to get in shape and then like a lot of dieters I yoyo'd back up and gained not all but about 60lbs of the 90lbs I lost back. Coincidentally this coincided with me being in a very toxic relationship.

I've now gotten out of that relationship and gone back into the world of dating. Hint: it sucks.

I'd love to put on rose colored glasses and see the world in an amazing way but in reality gay men are some of the most vein on the planet. They vast majority of us want skinny, muscley, big armed, big chested, well built guys.

Even guys who are into men with a belly often still prioritize arm and chest size.

So yea, I'm a pragmatist and a realist about this. In the future my person might not care if I gain weight or stop going to the gym, but to get that person, I realize chances are I will fair a better chance if I'm well built.

And yea I'm not into super built guys myself. The problem. Even other bigger guys are typically into well built guys. And dating is a numbers game. The more people into me, the more likely I am to find a match.

You know how often I hit up guys big and small and get the "not my type" response after I share body pics. Yes even the bigger guys are being vein... welcome to being gay I guess.

*takes breath*

So with all that said. Having lost about 20lbs, started a solid gym routine, and started to see some muscle growth, it really feels like my whole life is on hold until I'm at that level where I'm more conventionally attractive.

Add to this that I live in a college city where 50% of our population seems to be young, in shape 20-somethings (I'm 32). The competition is fucking brutal.