My (M/32) partner (F/33) has given me a PMS ultimatum.

Every single month, me (M32) and my partner (F33) fall out, big style. We know it's coming, we even have "Hell week" firmly scheduled into our shared calendar, but no matter how we prepare, no matter what we try to do, she will end up getting more and more annoyed at everything other adults around her do.

Because I am around her the most, I get the brunt of it. She picks and snaps at everything I say or do that doesn't completely align with her opinion, process or way of thinking, the communication breaks down between us, we don't talk about anything other than what she perceives as the problems I am forcing into our lives...

Last month we argued until we were red in the face because when I entered the kitchen she asked if I had come to help her clean, of course!, so I started putting things away so I could wipe the worktops down, which included some oats in a bag that we weren't sure were still in date, I put the bag in the cupboard where it belongs, but because I didn't taste the oats in that moment to see if they were good or not, she blew up at me. Telling me to leave, and when I refused she stormed upstairs and didn't talk to me for the next 2 days (until her period came)

This month, I accidentally took the remote control for her parents garage door out of the car (again), i put it in my pocket, then after finding it while doing some laundry, I put it on the side in the garage, well, wouldn't you know, she found it there and just had to tell me all about it, questioning why I took it out, why it was in the garage, why I didn't just leave it in the car, how could I just not think about this.

The second example is what I would define as normal, easily happening situations that most people would do when rushing around in their day-to-day life, I forgot things, she forgets things, everyone does...

This is the baseline for the kind of things that causes these arguments.

I am very aware as to the reason why this is all happening, but after the 3rd or 4th consecutive day of being scrutinized and essentially being placed beneath her as a human rather than an equal as it is the rest of the month, I generally have had enough, my support tank is empty, my frustration tank is brimming, and my PMS filter is cracked. I can feel it, that pulsating yet numb feeling in the back of my head that's whispering to me to just remind her that:

1. She's in hell week
2. I'm a human with flaws, just like she is.
3. If we don't manage to have effective communication, this is what happens.
4. Why not just remind her for the Bazillionth time to take her dirty pad out of her pants before putting it in the laundry basket. (For example)

But oh boy, if I do this, if I utter those words, I may as well be wearing noise cancelling headphones for the next few days, because what I would hear is essentially the same, radio silence, that is of course until I make another mistake that needs to be brought to my attention in a totally civil and non belittling way /s.

Yesterday she gave me an ultimatum, either I find a way to support her more during this time of the month or we split up, we have 2 kids together, wtf am I supposed to do with a partner that doesn't even want to look at me during her PMS week(s) every month?