Jpow, repeat after me, (or the iPad)

My fellow Americans, recently our great ally and lover of ‘democracy’ Israel was attacked in a major terror incident. This means inflation is likely to remain elevated due to oil prices possibly remaining higher for longer. However this is normally not considered in our monetary policy process, considering any spike is likely transitory, especially if we send the regards with zeroed out options accounts into the war to die for our beloved country and our freedoms. they can’t lose all the time!

Due to this new front on the war on freedom, the funding requirements of the US gov will no longer be able to afford 5% interest rates, thus my congress buddies and I have decided that we are suspending the dual mandate and moving to a single mandate - to print as much money as we need to do whatever the gov needs to do. It is your patriotic duty to suffer this inflation without objection because freedom is not free. I leave you with this new idea - inflation is patriotic. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask how many more dicks you need to suck behind the dumpster. God bless.