24 Days in, nearly relapsed to urge-surfing;

Today, I felt mentally fatigued and put myself in a risky position. I locked myself in a bathroom with my laptop. I had just eaten, so my full stomach made me feel tired. But sometimes I mistake tiredness for horniness. And to be honest, I've been flatlining lately, and so my confidence in my sexual drive and libido has taken a small hit. So, I thought I'd allow myself the privilege of knowing that I can get erect again. Which is a stupid thing to do since it's to online material and not my girlfriend.

I feel dirty and ashamed when I allow my eyes to wonder over such vile imagery, even though it wasn't porn, it still felt pornographic. I built a horrible habbit of trying to find porn through google images. Like a game, I will make simple searches like "chalkboard" and click on related images until I get into more provocative photos, and eventually, to porn. I've found that everything leads to porn eventually, and it's sickening that I know that. But I am human.

The outcome of today was simply urge-surfing and no relapse - inwhich I'm grateful for. However, I still believe it was a minor set-back in my flatline recovery progress. If you have any advice for gaining back your libido, let me know.

Thanks for reading my spill. I hope to make it to a full month of no pmo.