Worst nightmare/night terror I have ever had.

I dreamed my mom committed suicide. It was an incredibly realistic dream. I have never felt so much relief waking up before and I feel incredibly disturbed by it. I don’t want to go into detail but I felt the pain of losing her as if it was real. Before I woke up I was on my hands and knees (in dream) screaming and crying. I screamed “not my mommy,” and as I was waking up I was physically screaming this within my throat. My mouth was closed but my throat was strained and the sound wouldn’t make it past my lips. Had the dream gone on longer I feel I would’ve woken up screaming aloud. It was more like a night terror than a dream. This is something unlike anything I have ever experienced. My throat still hurts, along with my head, as if I had been actually screaming and crying. I’m a 25 year old man and it’s not usually how I act but when I saw what I saw it was like reverting back to a child. I fell asleep around 1am and the nightmare woke me up around 4am so it was a relatively short time in REM. However, no chance I can go back to bed. I seriously have never experienced something so gut wrenchingly painful and realistic in a dream. The fear of feeling that way again is keeping me up and I’m honestly having a hard time coping with it all. Writing this has helped me calm down a bit and I can hardly wait till she’s awake so I can check on her. I don’t know what I expect from this post. Just needed to get it out there, I guess, so I wasn’t sitting on these feelings. Any advice is appreciated, thanks for listening. Hug your mom today.