Wanted to share my experience and ask for advice on how to move past the hurt

Hi everyone, me and my Nex dated for a year and were close friends for a year before that. I wrote out some of the worst moments in the relationship:

-Asked him to put more effort into the relationship-he started texting me more, later i realized the texts were automated

-Called him upset wanting to discuss our relationship and he called me a fucking asshole and hung up on me

-When he asked me to throw away the thoughtful gifts I got him in front of him and pointed to the trash chute

-When he timed how long it took me to get out of the car (spoiler alert it was 6 and a half minutes)

-when he timed how long he would stay in bed with me

-when he set a timer as soon as I walked into his apartment

-when after over 6 months of dating he asked me to sleep on the couch after we slept together because he doesn’t sleep well next to me in his bed and his sleep is extremely important

-When I left a snack pack of hummus out in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep and was subsequently called an awful, inconsiderate person, this forgetful action of mine was used against me many times

-when he called me a dumbass and stupid for having to open the fridge more than once while cooking

-When I found out that he laughed and smiled when someone told him I was struggling with our breakup (he dumped me)

-when he told me he loved me, then asked for a break 2 days later, told me I could drop off a gift I had got for him while traveling but couldn’t sneak my way into seeing him

-when I was going through a tough time and asked if he wanted to get ice cream, he picked me up for ice cream, was angry at me the whole time, purposely said I couldn’t come to his game night, sped away quickly as soon as I got out of the car and said I forced his hand to get ice cream by asking

-when I told him to give his baby nephew a hug from me when he was traveling to see him, he said those are just empty words and only a non genuine person says empty words for an empty gesture

-when I wanted to partake in his hobby of rock climbing so we could do it together, he asked me what time I would be going so he could go at a different time to avoid seeing me and have me impose on his time to himself

-when he was angry at me for a couple of days because I went to the bathroom with a friend at a gala instead of waiting in line with him to get in a photo with him and his friends, he then put this photo that I wasn’t in on his fridge and constantly pointed out that I could have been in it but I wasn’t

-when I found out he lied to me about his family’s house (he showed me a house that wasn’t his)

-the constant gaslighting and manipulation: calling me crazy and a bad person every time I called him out for his actions

-weaponizing the few nice things he did for me for the entirety of our relationship

-never being happy for my success, on a night where I had accomplished something major, instead of celebrating with me and my friends he wanted me to come back to his apt bc he was “tired and wanted to sleep” (spoiler alert he came home, put his AirPods in and worked on fixing things around the house late into the night all the while not saying a single word to me)

-the name calling during fights: when he called me an insecure baby, child that throws tantrums, Dobby the elf

-sleeping with me when he thought we were broken up (I thought we had a fight and made up because we slept together right after)

-not telling me we broke up after we slept together, having a mutual friend tell me as we all walked into a movie theater, upon being confronted about the breakup-refusing to talk and saying I was ruining the movie for him

-using my insecurities against me: when I asked him for a hug-he called me needy at baseline

-if I ever dropped off food for him, it was my fault for him being annoyed because either he doesn’t eat breakfast or leaving a pizza box inside a plastic bag is just a way for dust to collect and a way for me to be inconsiderate, then making it a point to bring the pizza inside, leave it on the counter, and point out that he didn’t eat it

I have been doing better since the breakup (it’s been about a month), but I still have waves of sadness over how someone could just be so awful. I guess I am looking for solidarity or ways to let go of the hurt. Thank you for reading and sending everyone lots of love!