I need help because Im afraid of my own fantasies (trans domme fantasy, Im sub male)

Im 27 yo male. People say I look very masculine and "normal" (non-domme) girls seem to like me but my fantasy is being topped by a dominant trans woman. So far this seems normal but I fantasize about CNC, "rape play" and basically being reduced to helplessness while she enjoys my own body. I tried contacting some trans women who accept money for sex on a specific website and -this turned me on and also scared me a little- like the idea of having sex with a virgin bottom or tying me up

But what if she takes out her condom and does me raw? One of these women told me she wants to do just that. It also doesnt help that, while Im 27, I want to be with 39 year old domme. A sort of "mommy fetish" -I dont much about this sub-culture.

Basically Im afraid that Im stepping into unhealthy practices are thought fantasies, based on rape with me as the victim. What can I do?