32 [M4F] #Toronto/Online A Lot Of People Here But Not Many Humans

I know that sounds like a contradiction. Don't people = humans? I ask, have you ever been in a room of people and felt lonely? Like no one understood you or would? Like you don't fit in. That's how I feel often in the world and I guess here.

I'm not saying I'm the answer to every woman's problems. Hell, I'm probably not even the conventionally attractive type (idk?) but I don't really care about there. I want something special something with purpose.

Purpose and purposelessness seem at odds with each other. One says you have a direction towards something, the other says you are a spinning top. The way your body and mind respond wildly shape outcomes.

But then comes mental health to explode everything. It's possibly uniquely human to feel depression or other mental health disorders. We interact with other humans but sometimes it feels like we're interacting with animals that don't understand depression and mental health. Does a duck understand the pains of psychology? Probably not? As do most humans on Earth just from my interaction all things being equal.

There are a subsect of humanity that do understand. And that is a fraction of a fraction of people. Those are the people I seek out.

I've tried various forms of dating but I'm done hiding "myself". If it's dating or friendship I don't care. I just want someone who can talk with me. Acknowledge and vice versa. I'm tired of no one understanding this depression. I feel like I have 1 person rowing a boat in a 2 person row boat. Everyone else is ahead of me and surpassing me with a full brain. But as my therapist says it might not always be this way. So I struggle, contend and I'm going to try.

How about you?

-I do have a type. I like to eat right and when I'm not depressed enjoy working out, I desire my partner/sub to be somewhat in shape or thin. Apparently dark hair women with big lips is my type according to someone I spoke to, who knows lol.

Bit about me. I'm pretty open and I like cutting through a lot of bs. maybe it's my age showing but just say what's on your mind, you know? I enjoy a lot of word play, encouragement and of course seeing you. Someone who can imagine scenarios, fantasies. And just be chill to talk to. I would say I'm not conventionally attractive but others differ, guess everyone has a type. Darker skin, black hair, usually wearing glasses. Currently learning guitar for fun (what a long journey). Pretty much an open book.

If any of this appeals to you feel free to hit me up. Pouring yourself out there isn't easy but to be sure you read this far please include your favourite drink in your message - or any books you've read lately!