WIBTA if I (20F) told a mutual friend (20M) to butt out of my buisness
Context: 6 months ago, a mutual friend (I'll call him M) Was messaged by a girl claiming that my boyfriend had been in an online relationship with her and had suddenly blocked her. M came and Told me and obviously this ended with me discovering I had been cheated on.
M is my boyfriends best friend. The first thing M did was tell the rest of our friendship group and hua family before telling me.
It has been 6 months, I put a lot of effort into forgiving my boyfriend & he worked hard to earn my trust back and we have come out of the other side of the situation. M is still hung up about it, at least once every month since it happened he has messaged my boyfriend saying he doesn't want to be friends with him anymore because he can't work out how to forgive him for what he did, but it never lasts. The rest of the friendship group never brings up the situation. Obviously he's allowed to be angry at my boyfriend for what he did but in my eyes he has almost inserted himself into a deeply personal situation.
I confronted him recently, asking if he could apolagise for telling the rest of the friendship group + people I didn't know before telling me because it was humiliating for me. He said it became a group issue as soon as he found out (and another friend who was also messaged by the girl) and it was basically the straw that broke the camels back.
I was the one cheated on, he does not have any place to 'forgive' my boyfriend because he was not the one wronged. He went out of his way to share something extremely personal with people I didn't even know, and has now consistently used what happened between ME AND MY BOYFRIEND as ammo in arguments with him. But at the same time I don't know if I'm being a bit blind and maybe he does have a right to forgive my boyfriend? Idk, I just want him to stop bringing it up all the time.
WIBTA if I asked him too stop?
TLDR: Boyfriends friend has inserted himself into personal drama, and I want him too stop.
Posted Nov 1, 2023, 3:54 PM UTC