AITA for Not Reaching Out More to My Family?

Hi, Reddit community. I (28F) need advice with a situation that's been bothering me, and I'm seeking your input. To provide some context, my dad was emotionally and mentally abusive to my brothers and I. As adults, we took the difficult decision to cut contact with our father. We tried setting boundaries, but, he consistently disregarded these boundaries, which ultimately led my brothers and I to go completely no-contact with my dad four years ago.

Despite this, for the past four years, I've made numerous attempts to stay in touch with his family. I regretfully can't attend family gatherings because my dad is invited. However, I've repeatedly reached out to my grandma and cousins, only to receive brief responses, and they've always been busy when I suggested visiting. We haven't seen each other since before the pandemic, and their lack of effort, combined with their apparent disinterest, led me to stop reaching out a little over a year ago.

About a year ago, most of my dad's family went on a heritage trip, to meet our extended family. My brothers and I were not invited. This lack of invite at first didn’t bother me until we found out the reasoning. We recently learned from another family member that our grandparents explained they didn't invite us because we don't reach out or seem to care about seeing the family. This revelation has caused me a great deal of distress. I'm not upset about missing a free vacation; what bothers me is the reason behind not being invited. My own family, who haven't initiated contact with me for years, have concluded that I don't care about them or don't want to see them, despite my repeated efforts to reach out.

Now, there's one more aspect that could potentially make me the AH, but it again requires some context. My uncle has been married and widowed twice. When his most recent wife suddenly passed away, and he lost out on her insurance claim because he had recently raised it, I began questioning the situation. He then set up a fundraiser asking for financial support to raise his late wife's adopted child on their very large property. At the time, I found my uncle's behavior odd, and I was puzzled by many aspects of the situation, including why he wouldn't sell some of his property to cover the expenses. I chose not to donate or share the fundraiser because something didn’t feel right about the situation and my brothers felt and did the same. Many people donated to my uncle, only for him to place his late wife's child into foster care a year later. I stand by my choice not to support the fundraiser, given the circumstances.

So, am I the asshole for not seeing my family since before the pandemic, despite my attempts to reach out? Am I in the wrong for not maintaining a relationship with people who have made it clear they're not interested in hearing from me? Am I an asshole for not asking people to give my uncle money? Should I confront my family about this or just let it go? I could really use some advice.