Is there anyone here worse off than me? I don't thinks so..

First of all, I use google translate. I can understand English, but I cannot speak it fluently and I have grammar problems. (Zero practise, thanks to SA) It's embarrassing to write these, but I have to write what I feel like. I will be 34 in 2 months and my life is ruined. During high school, I dropped out of school because of bullying. After leaving school, I traveled around the provinces of my country on my own for 3 years. I was fine then. Later, due to some economic reasons, I could not travel and started spending too much time at home. And that's when it all started. I didn't leave the house for 1.5 years! And when I had to leave the house, I experienced that damn feeling we all know for the first time. This damn disease, which started when I was 18 or 19, is still going on. Now it's gotten so bad that I can't even leave the house even though I'm 2 months away from being 34. I can't go to the doctor, I can't do anything. I don't have any job and I feel very bad. It feels like life is over for me. What can I do after this age? I don't know how to get out of this. This is the first time I've written this in years. I see the efforts of people suffering from the same problem here and I say to myself, "Look at these people, they are only 20-25 years old, you are 34 years old and you still can't do shit. (There are people older than me, but their situation is not this severe.) I used anafranil for 12 years and I think it made me stupid. I stopped using it 2 months ago and now I feel very bad. The last time I left home was 2015! All my good years have become wasted and there is no return. I have 0 social skills right now at 34. I haven't had a friend since 2004. I didn't even chat with anyone face to face. Now I don't know what the hell I'm going to do in this life after this age... I'm seriously planning to commit suicide, but I don't have the courage! It's so hard! There is so much more to write, but these are what come to my mind for now. At the age of 34, I realized that no one would come to save me. At 34!