I don’t feel empathy after cheating

why can I not feel empathy about cheating after doing it? I have BPD and bipolar 2 and i am currently in a hypomanic episode the past few weeks.

i’ve tried looking at photos of me and my ex to make myself feel empathetic like wow we had all these memories together this or that but it won’t work. i only felt bad for myself when i got caught, out of anxiety of being portrayed badly but now i somewhat don’t care how i am seen.

i came here to post because i tried posting in /BPD and nobody rlly understood/responded. sooo maybe i’ll get some help here ?

it’s like i say i feel bad but then in my head i don’t even feel bad. it feels like something is wrong with me.