Struggling

My son is 4 years old and he is definitely on the spectrum. We haven’t had time to get him officially tested but are in the process. I feel I’m in the grieving process but then just go back to trying to deal with day to day activities. Will it always be this hard?

He’s extremely physical and can’t handle his emotions well. When things don’t go his way, he screams and hits and throws things. I try my best to model the appropriate behavior but it’s just hard. He just doesn’t listen. I start by saying things in a normal voice, then try and get him to do something else, and then go over to him and yet he still doesn’t listen. It takes me yelling for him to actually listen or even look at me. When I try to talk to him afterwards, he looks away from me and just says something completely off topic.

He understands me and is able to hold a conversation. He’s not nonverbal but it seems when faced with a conversation about his behavior or what he’s done, it’s like he blocks it out. How do we communicate with him? My husband and I are at a loss. Halloween was difficult last night and just dealing with him even when he’s in preschool half the day…is just hard.

He screams all day, no matter how we present it or say it, he’s rough and breaks apart his toys. He can be so sweet and he has his moments but my husband and I are at an all time low. We are doing things to help our moods but we just don’t know when things will get better. Homeschooling is my dream down the road but dealing with him all Saturday can be so hard too. I feel so guilty that I find things so hard.

We just moved seven months ago and he’s done great with the transition considering everything.

Will this get better? It’s hard when no families around you have children on the spectrum. They don’t understand. We feel like an island and are just really struggling. Any advice or kind comments would be appreciated.