I keep waiting for it to get easier…

I guess in some ways it has. He’s more interactive and smiles more at 5.5 months than he was as a potato newborn.

But I just can’t figure out any of the sleep stuff. His naps are all over the place. He’s still up multiple times during the night. Some days he goes to sleep on his own in the crib. Some days I have to nurse him. Some days my husband has to rock him.

I’m a teacher and I took the first half of the school year off to stay with my son, and I’m so glad I did because I would be losing my mind even more so than I am now if I was working with middle schoolers all day and not sleeping at night.

I know it’s not my fault but it feels like it is. I have multiple friends with similar aged babies who sleep through the night (or so they claim.) It’s so hard not to feel like I’m doing something wrong and that I’m failing him.

I’m sobbing on my bed right now because my son was drifting to sleep for a nap and my cat found her way into his nursery and jumped into the crib and woke him up.

I just don’t feel like I can handle this some days and today is one of them.