[M4M] - Connecticut/online - Crossdresser looking for serious long term and regular online penpal and friend - no ghosters please

I am looking for someone to chat with dirty as well as clean, like a good friend and penpal. If you are only looking for a one time thing please look elsewhere because I am looking for a long term connection. Please please please if you are not serious and think you will ghost me, just dont message me ok? Serious replies only. I am not a passable crossdresser but looking for someone patient and understanding who can help me feel more like a woman. I crave attention since I dont really get much. I am looking for someone who cares more about words and imagination, which I have a lot of. I am in the closet and need privacy. What I have done over time and is now the main way I get off is by watching straight porn. I imagine I am in the role of the women I see and want that feeling so bad of being sexy and having someone want and desire me in that way. I am hoping that I can meet someone who I can share porn with and that person help me (using words and roleplay) get into the mind state of a beautiful woman. If you are interested in helping me, please message me directly. thank you