I think my dysfunctional family makes it harder to quit.

I have been on and off trying to quit smoking for like 2 years now. I have also been living with my boyfriend for a year.

I grew up in an abusive dusfunctional family. I have 3 fellow adult siblings. my parents are emotionally explosive with very high expectations for their children. I have been trying to keep a relationship with them because a) i love my sisters and dont want to ever lose them, and b) my parents love to guilt their children into spending time with them.

The thing is when i do spend time with my family like at thanksgiving or birthday get togethers, the dysfunction always stresses me out so fucking much, no matter how long ive been sober, i end up smoking weed shortly after.

I could go into details of why my family is so fucked, but the fact is they just are. My parents are emotionally manipulative and my father is physically abusive. They are almost 60 now, and i dont think they are going to change. They want this weird, fake relationship with all of us where we pretend that we're this happy family without actually being a part of each others lives. They want us to always be happy and smiling and only talk about superficial stuff, and they dont want to hear about any of our problems. Its honestly so exhausting for me, and idk why.

I am 8 days sober and i want this to be the one that sticks. My dad talked to my boyfriend yesterday and asked if i quit weed yet. When my bf said yeah shes 8 days sober, my dad rolled his eyes and was talking shit about how "i have said i want to quit so many times and havent". He was dissappointed in me. When my bf told me about this i just couldnt stop crying. It felt really mean. it was honestly so hard to not go to the store and buy some to smoke.

I am thinking it will be a lot easier to quit and learn other ways to emotionally cope if i get a break from my toxic family. Id like to stop all contact for at least a year or something.

Do you guys think this makes sense or am i making excuses for myself? Do any of you have similar experiences when it comes to a fucked up family and wanting to go sober?

Thanks for reading. I hope this makes sense.