Would i be the A hole for having certain demands to consider marriage

Before anything, i know some of this will sound crazy or you may wonder why i dealt with things. Idk why… well maybe i have an idea now that I’ve grown a bit and self evaluated some, but that’s between me n my therapist. I’ve rewritten this about 3 times because i made too long, so sorry if it’s still really long.

This is both an am i bugging/would i be an A hole and also asking for advice because i just feel stuck.

So me (24f) and my boyfriend (24m), let’s call him Griffin, have been together 3 years and being honest, it has not been all butterflies and rainbows. We were first friends for a year then parted ways when i got back with an ex, once me and my ex ended i rekindled my friendships and then soon we started dating. At the beginning he talked about building a good foundation for our relationship but it wasn’t starting like that whatsoever.

First off my ex, kept on, trying to reach out to me and get in contact with me and it took a while to finally get him to back off. Then his crazy ex became an issue and so did some of his old flings. Then about 8 months into our relationship i get a msg from the crazy ex that he’s been cheating on me with her. I was heartbroken, worse than any situation with any past ex. He said he wanted to fix things and i feel like because I see the good in him and I was so used to the good old friend i had i was willing to give this another shot, but honestly i don’t know if that went well.

Anywho, when he was in the period of trying to fix things and make up for his wrongs he promised to do certain things. Two of those things were: 1. He would write and publish a song for me (he makes music) and 2. He would post me on his social media. He did write a song for me, but the day he wanted to go to the studio to record it. It was closed, and then it was just left at that, so the song was never published on his platforms. That one honestly doesn’t bother me as much as the second one. He never posted a picture of me, and to this day it bothers me and anytime he makes comments about being a man of your word I get a little annoyed because he was not that. I have brought it up to him and if I remember correctly, he just brushed it off and says that he’s just not a social media guy. Which makes no sense to me because being in music, especially in this day and age, you have to use social media, and he always post pictures of himself and sometimes his friends. I get worried that he gaslight me and I’m not noticing it. Sometimes I will show my friend screenshots of our conversations and tell her about our arguments and she has told me that she feels like he gaslight me.

AnyWho, my boyfriend will ask about marriage and I’ve told him that I have specific wants if we are to get married, i haven’t told him what they all are though. One of those is that he hast to post me on social media, but at the same time I don’t want to ask him again or bring it up because I’ve already brought it up. So would I be an asshole for having the specific want? And in general, what are some of your advice as I just feel stuck and scared and exhausted.

Thank you :)