Please help

I don't have anybody to tell this. I'm a 23 year old student and I'm an alcoholic.

I drink 1,5-2 bottles of wine every day, sometimes I'll add beer. I'm tired of it but I can't stop. I get anxiety if I realise that I can't drink on an evening and I plan my life around alcohol to make sure that I can get drunk. On the rare occasion when I skip a day (rarely more) my hands shake and my heart beats very fast. I know that it's a sign of a strong addition and I should go to rehab. My therapist prescribed me medicine which is supposed to stop the craving. It works but the problem is that I don't want to take it because I want to get drunk.

I don't get shit done during the day because my body is recovering from the last night of drinking. Every time I wake up I'm scared to look at my phone and reading embarrassing texts that I've sent. My stomach has become very weak and I don't even want to talk about the poops. My face is constantly swollen and I don't look as pretty anymore. I try to go to different stores so the cashiers don't judge. Recently I started to make myself puke after drinking so I'm not hungover the next morning.

My father died because of alcohol and here I am continuing his legacy. Yesterday I thought of the fact that my liver is probably crying for help. My therapist told me 'You're 23 years old, your father died at 32. You don't have much time left.'

Man, I'm pathetic. I decided to take the medicine today and I hope that I don't go to the store later today.

Thank you for reading.

P.s English is not my first language