Mom Reliving Past Trauma. Sign of dementia?

My mom (61) has a lot of complications both physically and mentally but the mental ones are wearing me out. At first I thought this was just anxiety, depression with potentially an undiagnosed case of narcissism; however, someone said it could be dementia and after thinking about it for some time, I’m wondering if that’s actually possible. Maybe I’m just looking for a more concrete reason as to why she’s acting the way she is and it would almost feel like a relief to have it attributed to cognitive decline.

Currently, she’s been:

• Hermitting/ retreating inward: text instead of call, will cancel plans last minute, won’t leave apartment unless for dr appointment. -having a hard time sleeping. Will sometimes go days without sleeping. Her sleep schedule is also messed up. Going to bed around 3am and waking up around lunchtime, though she’s never been an early riser.
• only sleeping on the couch. Has anxiety about sleeping in bed -Lying or having confabulations (hard to tell at this point). They range from seeing priests and therapists about obsessions listed below to what she did over the weekend to conversations she’s had and past events. Hard to tell if she twists the narrative to fit her perspective better or doing unintentionally.
• Paranoia- feels like she can’t trust anyone. Has gotten awfully accusatory, agitated, and aggressive when things don’t go as she planned. -Delusions- particularly somatic delusions about her scalp and skin. Is on dermatologist #4 and will try just about anything she reads on the internet. Will bring bags of things she finds on the ground as proof that her scalp/skin flaking off. This happened once before about 10 years ago though it was just her scalp as she was convinced there were vines growing in her scalp. -Hallucinations- also just been noticed with scalp/skin issue such as seeing neon colors on her scalp and will get very upset if you don’t see them too when she shows you. -Obsessive over 3 major things and has a hard time talking about anything else. Her father “abandoning” the family due to him starting a new relationship after his wife (her mother) died in 2020. Will relive past memories and talk about how they are all ruined now because of his behavior. Her scalp and skin problems. Will call dermatologist weekly, check out her scalp/hair multiple times a day. My baby shower/ my father attending. Problem used to be that is was untraditional to have an evening couple’s shower to men hate them to now she has ptsd because my dad will be there (his side of family is hosting).

Since the PTSD claim has started, she has gone to great lengths to tell really anyone all the trauma my dad has caused her. Some of the accusations seem outlandish (particularly the one where she swears my dad kissed her in the lips the day after my wedding in a parking lot. My dad came to the wedding with his wife.) Most recently she sent me the equilivant of a 7 page word doc worth of texts about several instances of trauma, threatening to take him to court again, and getting very accusatory with me since I still talk to him and therefore a terrible daughter. I will say, there was DV, drug and alcohol abuse, and a long trial. It wasn’t pretty, but was 25 years ago, thought she worked through it and my dad has still always been in my life. Two years ago, both parents were at my wedding and that was last time they saw each other in person.

I keep waiting for things to get better and they seem like they just keep spiraling. She refuses inpatient/outpatient care saying she already knows everything. When she brought up the ptsd, my husband and I said we can work with her and make sure she never has to see him but that she needs to work with a professional. We took it seriously. But that was not good enough because that would mean she can’t partake in every holiday/major event and refused to see a professional since there’s nothing new for her to learn. She feels like she needs to get him to apologize for the wrong he has done to her and is so paranoid he’s going to become belligerent and violent in front of the baby. She ended up texting him about it calling it her “olive branch” and my dad just ended up ignoring it because it was so out of the blue and demanding. She’s now demanding answers from me as to why he’s not responding and how she needs to be the sacrificial lamb for everything.

If anything, I’m afraid of her outbursts more than my dad’s drinking. He’s mellowed considerably over time (he does still drink pretty regularly). I feel like I can never tell how she will react to anything anymore. It’s never been easy with her emotionally but it’s gotten to the point of every interaction results in a total meltdown. I feel at my wit’s end.