I hate the holiday’s

Hello. So I desperately need advice. I am 22yrs old and still fully financially supported by my Ndad. This was partly due to his “wishes” of supporting me while I get my masters but I’ve learned it’s a way to stay anchored in my life. I always felt as though I had horrible family issues (divorced family) as my mom is also emotionally immature, but it wasn’t until I got to college and recently started therapy that I understood that both of my parents are narcissistic and how that has effected me. I have had a boyfriend since I was 15 and his family has been more impactful and loving than my family can ever be. So I always try to make both thanksgivings and holidays work because I’d like to see my boyfriends family as they feel like ‘home’ and mine feels like an obligation. So for this year, my dad recently asked while we were at a breakfast if my boyfriend would be coming to his thanksgiving as well. They have a very rocky history as my boyfriend wasn’t enough of a kiss ass for my dad. I mentioned it may be hard because my boyfriend’s mom also wants her Thanksgiving in the afternoon. My dad immediately offered that he could move his earlier in order for me to make both of them which I thought was very strange and thoughtful. Of course when I texted him today asking what time he was thinking (with a recap of what he told me), he recalled that he never said anything of the sort and that I misunderstood because “why would he accommodate me to make someone else’s thanksgiving. Among other details, he claimed I could come over at the crack of dawn to make everyone breakfast if that’s what I wanted but that his thanksgiving would be at the usual time of noon. He then offered for my boyfriend’s family to just join his, and they wouldn’t get along because of all the nasty things my dad has said about them. I know this is silly but I need advice on how I can make it work when my Ndad only cares about himself and will threaten my schooling if I don’t suck up. I am also a social work major to be a therapist myself one day, and I have a pretty good understanding of when a narcissist is just baiting you into an arguement, and I feel this is what my Ndad is doing. So do I suck it up and go to my Ndad thanksgiving without my boyfriend? Or just go to the other thanksgiving?

I personally believe I should show up to my dads thanksgiving a little early to socialize and then set a clear boundary of “okay well now I’m going to go to my boyfriends” and emphasize that I’m very glad I can go to both and am appreciative of everyone’s efforts