Has anyone else had problems with DEAR MAN actually making situations worse?

I've noticed when I try to use healthy communication skills it actually results in the disagreement escalating. I feel like in a lot of situations, maybe most situations, I'd be better off just walking away.

I've also noticed that healthy communications skills can come across as condescending and passive aggressive when people use them on me. Like that "I'm holding space for you" joke from Bros. Like thinly veiled dismissiveness or anger.

Maybe I should just jump straight to assertiveness and reinforce. I've had people throw Express/Explain back in my face, in a "who gives a shit about your feelings" kind of way.

I guess the exception would be when talking to someone you really care about who really values their relationship with you, and knows how to stay calm in arguments. But that doesn't describe a lot of people lol. And even then it could come across as robotic and insincere.

Maybe there's a way of applying the concepts that sounds more natural in real life?