AITAH- for ghosting my friends after a confusing break off

I just realized I might be the Asshole in this situation and I want to know- is there any way to fix this? And, how can I do better with people in the future? Myself, 54yr old woman, they were all my age. And this happened in 2013/2014. I don't know how to describe this without being detailed but I want to keep it short. I just recently reinstalled Facebook after being pressured by family. I saw all these pictures and faces of my old friends and I was flooded with nostalgia and sadness. I have missed them over the years and I really haven't moved on in a healthy way, more like I haven't made new friends since because the whole drama fest really broke me back then, and I just shut everything and everyone out. And ghosted. I also moved from the area because I thought I had a great opportunity that turned out to not be that at all. And I have spent all this time trying to get back on my feet. And just realized this week that I have this unhealthy coping mechanism of ghosting when relationships get too hard. What happened was I really wanted something to work out with our mutual guy friend who I had a big feelings for. He gave me a lot of confusing mixed signals and I was playing detective trying to figure out what and why he was acting like he did. I unfortunately talked to a mutual woman friend and therefore opened the drama. I realized after a year or two that things were never going to change with him and I was finally ready to hear the things he tried to say all along. I figured he'd be happy I was out of the picture since I was so persistent and probably cramping his style or something.
And I knew I couldn't stick around while he had to save face or something with mutual friends. So I said goodbye to everyone and moved and shut off Facebook and quit talking to all my old friends. I want to know, what are healthier ways of being a friend? Am I as much of an AH as I suspect I have been? Is there anything I can do to get my old friends back?