How do I learn to have good sex

I am a 35 year old gay male from New Zealand. My sexual history has always been pretty fucked up. I discovered internet dating far too early, when I was 13. This lead to several encounters over the next 3 years with older (30-50yr old) men who warped my relationship with my body and with sex. I became very overweight following that period, ending up at 150kg (330 pounds?).

Since then, essentially the last 22 years, I’ve never really felt comfortable enough to have sex with men - oral and touching is fun, but not often getting penetrative - which has definitely effected my dating life. I’ve had a few good and bad relationships, but none have lasted more than a year. Currently, it’s been 10 years since I last had sex, and 5 years since I’ve had a date.

Cut to today, I’ve dropped 30kg so far (66 pounds?) with still a fair distance to go, but it’s a start. Ideally I want to meet someone and foster a long-term loving and intimate relationship, but how do I even approach that when I have no idea how to have good sex? Are there any teaching/learning resources that aren’t performative or “sexy couple play” things? I’m just not sure what to do