Overwhelmed and confused

First time posting anything before so I apologise for any mistakes I make. I m just so confused and I don't know what to do anymore. So I 32 m have never been in a serious relationship, I'm my teens and 20s I tried but was always lied to and cheated on, until I had no trust left for people.  I shut down that side of myself for almost 9 years and for the most part I was fine with it. I would get lonely sometimes, but I could cope. About 4-5months ago I started talking to a person f28 online (something I don't normally do) we got along great! They shared a lot of similar interests to me, and told me that they were diagnosed HFA, which is something I have always thought I could have but never looked into it because I didn't want an answer. I have not seeked an official diagnosis, but have been doing research and am pretty sure I m aswell. She lives on the other side of the world to me. She shared some of her past trauma with me(I won't go into detail because it's not anyone's business). She had admitted to me early on that she is avoident when she is stressed. We got past those initially trouble and had a really amazing month of chatting and enjoying each other's company and Planning a future together. Then one day she just started avoiding me again, she eventually told me her pet died and she was depressed. All I wanted to do was help, but she shut me out, only contacting me when she needed money. I chose to keep helping thinking she is probably just to depressed to talk but I believe the nice thing she said to me and believe she has feelings for me. A whole month of very little contact, me just stressing every minute of the day because I can't stop worrying about her. But if I messaged to much it only made her take longer to respond. I finally decided to send one last message, basically saying that I m still here and committed but I need to know she is too because I m going crazy and I don't know how much longer I can handle this roller-coaster of emotions. Not in those words but that's the idea of it. 4 days go by, then I finally get a response, she had a family members die and she needs money.  At this point I m so fucking confused, because if she is telling the truth I want to help out even more, but a small part of me was thinking this feels manipulative. I help her out, another month of very little contact except for when she needs something. I tried to let her know that I can't afford to support her 100% when she lives in another country. It also just feels wrong that she expect it. I haven't asked for anything from her, apart from the fact that I wanted her to send me selfie on occasion. I have only every gotten 2 and they were both when I was in about to give her money.  Honestly writing this is making me realise how messed up this all is. The reason I want to help her so bad, is because that happy month we had talking was one of the best times of my life, she said she felt the same, but I dont know what to believe anymore. She is desperate for money because she is out if work and struggling with mental health and her country has a terrible health care system with no support. I even realised she was selling the gift I sent her because she needed money. I didn't tell her I knew, because I figured she already felt guilty. But maybe I should so we can clear the air and she doesn't need to feel guilty.  She got money off me to get lingerie for a birthday present she said she wanted to send me. Got nothing, which I said I didn't need anything, but what did I pay for. I told her I couldnt afford to keep supporting her because it is just to expensive with the exchange rate and the fact that I m between jobs. So she went quiet for days, then snapped at me for trying to help saying that she cant be the same girl when her circumstances have changed. This really hurt, felt like my money was the only thing she liked. A small part of me still thinks the nice things she says where real and I keep trying to help her. at the moment I have told her I can only help with paying for therapy, and she has spent 4 weeks worth in 2 weeks...i really want to help this girl, but I dont know if this is salvageable or not. Just so many lies, I have never lied to her.  If anything I feel like I have been to open and left myself feeling vulnerable. Any advice is appreciated. I know people deal with trauma in different ways and she has had a really rough year. So I m mostly wondering does this explain her behaviour or is she just manipulating me. We also use to chat on discord but she got rid of it. She cut down all our form of contact to just one place and she controls the conversation. She has herself set to off-line so I can't see when she is available.  She doesn't respond for a whole 24 hr sometimes then just says sorry was napping. I think I have just been kidding myself,  after writing this I feel like I m just being manipulated. I might freak out and delete this, I don't know what I m doing. Sorry if this is not the place for this.