This time is different

I'm writing this to keep myself accountable.

I've tried to quit at least 10 times over the past 20 years. Most of the time I only last a few weeks or a couple of months. I go from not smoking for a while, to smoking "just one time", to every Friday, to every weekend, to smoking a half ounce or more per week. That lasts for a year or two until it gets so bad that I force myself to stop. Vicious cycle.

I started way too young in my early teens, and I'm lucky to be where I am in life in my early 30s. The one time I stopped for 1+ year, I jump-started my career and started making great money. That was at the cost of becoming an alcoholic and getting into trouble with the law one night and waking up in jail. I haven't drank in three years now, but I've been back to weed. Still have an open case from my alcoholic phase. I told myself weed is better than drinking, but it's all shit. Sober is the way to live.

The last time I quit was leading up to getting married. Then my wife got pregnant, and I told myself I'd smoke a couple more times before our son was born. I told myself I'd never smoke once I had a kid. Well, I lied to myself, per usual. I smoked every day for the past 9 months, and my son is 4 months old now.

This time is different. I'm on day 8. I'm not going back. Thank God I found this subreddit. I'm using all the helpful tips you all use and mention so often. A few things that help me tremendously are; running outside for 30 minutes every day, reading philosophy, praying, spending more time with my wife and son, spending more time talking to immediate family and catching up, music when I'm feeling depressed (and the running didn't help enough), alone time, watching sports.

Stay strong my friends! We dont need this shit in our lives. The best times in my life have been when I have been sober, and I'm going to stay sober for the rest of my ife. No hall passes for "special occasions", no excuses, no bullshit.

Thank you all!